


Where is my mind...

by LolaWednesday



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Age Difference, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2020-12-16 02:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21028844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LolaWednesday/pseuds/LolaWednesday
Summary: For so long it just been Tess and her younger sister Allie, that was until a closed off Texan came in to their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summer 2033**

She was softer than her sister. No one questioned Tess, no one, in that way Allie envied her sister. The only fear she caused in anyone was from Tess being her older sister, and her association with Joel. In many ways she felt like a spare part when it came to their little trio, Tess and Joel could definitely survive without her, that being said she wasn't completely useless.

She wasn't cunningly smart like her sister, or physically strong like Joel, but from the skills she had learnt from both of them Allie was more than capable of handling herself. Although she often found that she was left behind for most of the jobs that came their way.

"You fucking my sister, Joel?" 

Not for the first time Allie found herself being left behind with only Joel for company. In the years they had been together Allie found a mutual fondness had formed between she and the moody Texan; possibly more one sided than she cared to admit. Who could blame her for having a little crush on Joel though? By post apocalypse standards the guy was practically a male model, and even so there was no denying his rugged good looks.

After half an hour of sitting in a silence she was anything but enjoying Allie had decided to have a little fun at Joel's expense, and the exasperated sigh he let out at her question was evidence enough that it was working. 

"What in the hell are you talkin' about, Allie girl?" Joel asked, taking the bait much to Allie's surprise. 

Slinking around the tattered kitchen table she had been sat at Allie dropped down onto the couch beside Joel, a wide grin on her face. "C'mon, don't act like it's not obvious. It's just I have this theory that Tess is like a praying mantis. You know, she bites off the dudes head after she's fucked them. You've still got your head though. Are you that good in the sack, Joel?" 

It wasn't the first time Allie had tried her utmost to make him uncomfortable, and truth be told the first few times had worked, now though Joel was used to her inappropriate teasing. Strangely he found himself enjoying the annoying questions and remarks, he and Tess were both so hardened by their need to survive that Allie's humour was much needed light relief. 

"I'm not doing nothin' with Tess." 

Allie's eyebrow quirked in disbelief. She might have been trying to poke fun at Joel but there was some real curiosity behind the question. Her sister and Joel were so close that anyone would suspect that their relationship was more than just smuggling partners. "I'm not a kid, Joel. And I have eyes." 

She definitely was not a kid. It was something that hadn't gone unnoticed by Joel, yet it didn't stop him feeling like some sleeze bag everytime he felt his eyes lingering on Allie. "You need them eyes of yours checking then." 

"Haha." Allie dead panned with a shove to Joel's shoulder, which barely moved him an inch. "Not like you two are subtle, even if my eyes did need checking I'd still be able to see what's going on." 

Was she jealous? A little. Not that Joel or Tess could ever know that. For whatever reason both of them saw her as some helpless child and not the capable twenty-four year old woman that she was, so if either suspected she wanted Joel's attention in the same way he gave it to Tess all hell would break loose. 

"You gunna drop this any time soon?"

A smug smirk tugged at the corners of Allie's lips. "Nope." She said, emphasizing the P. "So what is it about Tess you find so irresistable, Cowboy? Do you like to be dominated?" Before she even managed to finish her last question Allie was a giggling mess, and the incredulous look on Joel's face wasn't helping. He really was too easy to wind up. "You should see your face!"

For all the times Allie screamed and hollered about not wanting to be treated like a child she sure as hell acted like one most of the time. It never ceased to amaze Joel how she kept such a bright disposition in the world they lived in. Perhaps it was because she had been so young when the outbreak had happened that she couldn't remember everything that had been lost? Whatever it was Joel wasn't in the mood to indulge the current topic any further. Anything that happened between he and Tess was nothing to do with nobody, and that included Allie.

"Drop it." He warned, there was no need for him to lose his temper but if she kept pushing he would.

"Jesus fucking christ." Allie grumbled moving herself back off of the couch and back to the kitchen not wanting to be next to Joel if he was going to be pissy. She had only been joking, kind of, he seriously needed to lighten up. "Looks like you could use a good fuck."

The girl could whisper all she wanted but Joel heard her loud and clear. She never fucking learnt. No matter how many arguments she started with both he and Tess because of her ever running mouth, Allie never learnt when to quit. For the first year of them all being together Joel had felt like he was stepping in for her dead father, and Tess for their mother, he had quickly put a stop to that though he wasn't anyones dad and Allie certainly weren't a little girl. Just thinking back on it made him uncomfortable. Truth be told he hadn't expected to stick with the two sister as long as he had and as time went on he was relieved that their relationship was nothing like a dad and daughter. That being said it didn't mean he was above putting her in her place when needed.

Twisting in his seat to look behind him Joel's voice got cold. "And what would you know about fucking, huh? Matter of fact what do you know about anything?"

"I'm twenty-four!"

"Then goddamn act like it!" Joel interrupted, his voice raising. "If it weren't for me and Tess you'd have died a long time ago. When are you gunna grow up?!"

When Allie had first asked about Joel and her sister she had never in a million years imagined the conversation going the route it had gone. Joel was hard to predict but they hadn't had a fight in such a long time that the possibility of him actually getting mad hadn't even enter her mind. Every argument ended up the same way, he would call her a princess and she would call him an asshole, really it had become boring. As boring and repetitive as it was didn't mean that Allie wasn't going to stand up for herself.

"When are you going to lighten up?" Allie shot back, her hands coming to rest on her hips. "I'll put in a word with Tess when she gets back. Maybe a pity fuck would make you more tolerable."

As predicted Joel bit back. Getting to his feet he stomped over to the small kitchenette where Allie was stood hands on hips waiting for his response. The day was inexplicably hot so maybe the heat had impaired her brain function and that was why Allie decided she wanted to go toe to toe with him, because she had very clearly forgotten how their last argument had ended with her fighting back tears while he went for a walk to cool off. "You are playing with fire, Allie girl. And you are going to get burnt."

"What are you gunna do, old man? You wouldn't dare hurt me because if you did Tess would kill you."

She had him there, and he didn't appreciate the smug look on her face as she said it. Joel's fingers twitched by his sides itching to hurt the woman in front of him, but like she'd said he couldn't risk losing the good thing he had going with Tess as his partner, and it only made the fury bubbling within him worsen. "You think I don't see the way you been lookin' at me?" He spoke, voice low and dark as he crossed the small amount of space between them until he was uncomfortably close to her. "That's why you're so interested in me and Tess. You're jealous." 

Shifting awkwardly on her feet, embarrassed that Joel was aware of the secret desires she had for him, Allie fought to keep her face strong to hide how she was really feeling from Joel. Yet despite the embarrassment Allie couldn't deny that his close proximity and the argument had set a fire inside her that had her torn between slapping Joel and kissing him. When he next spoke it instantly swayed her in favour of slapping him.

"I'm a man, Allie, and it takes more than some spoilt little girl to get me off."

The slap was so hard it had Allie's hand stinging, but it was nothing compared to the humiliation she was feeling. She hated that one simple remark could hurt her so badly. Tess never would have let something so insignificant upset her, no wonder Joel saw her as a pathetic girl. 

It took several seconds for Joel to react to the angry red mark on his cheek. For what felt like hours, but in reality was more likely to not have been more than seconds, he had just stared at her, chest heaving and a dark look in his eyes. Allie wondered briefly whether he was actually going to hit her back before he finally took a step back and wordlessly returned to his original position on the couch. 

An agonising silence befell the room not that Allie had anything to say to Joel. She had witnessed how cruel he could be, how ruthless, she had never been on the receiving end though and Allie found she now felt some sympathy for the people who had been victim to Joel's temper. 

“Tess will be back soon." Joel said, piercing the uncomfortable silence. 

Allie had known him long enough to recognise an olive branch when she saw one. In typical Joel fashion he didn't outwardly admit that he had been out of line, instead he diverted with a new course of conversation. The petty part of her wanted to ignore his peace offering but in the end she caved and took the empty seat beside him as her own gesture of goodwill. 

Fidgeting Allie chanced a sideways glance at Joel not enjoying the suffocating atmosphere that surrounded the pair. Something needed to be said to steer them back to their usual teasing banter and away from the unknown territory they were currently stuck in. 

Laughing lightly Allie took the plunge. "How can someone be spoilt in the apocalypse?" 

Much to her relief Joel's lips twitched almost forming a smile. They were officially safe. 

"By livin' with me and Tess. We've spoilt you." 

Taking advantage of his amenable change of mood Allie turned to face Joel, crossing her legs beneath her as she pointed an accusatory finger at him. "So really it's all your fault." 

Joel's gaze met Allie's, the coldness in them now gone. "I 'spose it is." He said with the ghost of grin. 

Thank god for that! Allie all but sang in relief that Joel wasn't making their make up painful and was instead actively trying to make it easy. Throwing caution to the wind she leant forward and leant her forehead on his broad shoulder. She didn't miss the way his body stiffened but equally he didn't shove her away so it was most definitely not a fail.

"Don't tell Tess that I said she was a praying mantis." She begged with a chuckle.

Before Joel could answer the door to the run down apartment opened. Allie didn't need to look over to know it would be Tess, and had she had any doubt the brisk way Joel shook her from his shoulder would have been a dead give away.

"She behave while I was gone?" 

Allie's eyes rolled. Why did everyone act like she was a child? "Who says he behaved?" 

It was Tess' time to roll her eyes. The blantent double entendre was nothing new, and anything but shocking. On top of that she had no time for Allie's games. "We got a problem, Joel." She said, ignoring her sister entirely. "We need to pay Robert a visit."

Nodding his understanding Joel moved to get his gun from where he had been cleaning it at the table earlier that day. Behind him the door sounded open and then closed again signalling that Tess had already headed out.

Like a sulking child Allie had a face like thunder as she hugged her knees to her chest on the couch. How she wondered why he treated like a child was beyond him. "Stay put. We won't be long."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summer 2033**

If there was one thing Allie was good at it was being invisable. If something needed sneaking in or out of somewhere she was the one to call. At five foot three she was easy to over look in most normal circumstances, but having lived out in the harsh, infected world for so long with Tess she had found out quickly where her skills lied. So when Tess had returned with some woman who Allie didn't recognize and told her to go to the tunnel she had made her way there quickly and entirely undetected. Allie had known Joel would be waiting there, Tess would never send her anywhere without either of them, what she hadn't expected was the girl sitting by one of the windows.

At the sound of the door opening Joel had shot upright, his hand wrapping around his gun, but when he saw it was Allie he immediately relaxed. "You tryin' to get shot, Allie girl?" He snapped as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Tess not with you?"

Again Allie felt a twang of jealousy. Joel always asked about Tess before anything else no matter the situation, was it too much to ask that for once it be her? "I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking." Allie said with a glare in Joel's direction. "Who's the kid?"

Dropping down onto the couch next to Joel, Allie studied the girl trying to figure out if she had seen her before. She was definately alot younger than she was, and from simply looking at her Allie came to the conclusion that she had never seen the girl before in her life.

"I'm Ellie." The girl answered before Joel could. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Ooo, I like her. Can we keep her?" Allie grinned at Joel with a gentle nudge to his side. "Have you and Tess been hiding her from me? Am I an aunt?" Even with what had happened between the two of them earlier that day Allie just couldn't help but poke fun at Joel. He was so closed off and grumpy most of the time she saw it as her duty to help him become less uptight. They were in the middle of the apocolypse for fuck sake, things were hard enough without people acting like they had a stick up their ass.

"We are not keepin' her." Grumbled Joel with a roll of his eyes. It was bad enough that Tess had agreed to help the Queen of the Fireflies, the last thing he needed was Allie getting attached to the girl. She was cargo, nothing more nothing less, and he was going to make sure Allie understood that. "Tess and I will be droppin' her off to some Fireflies..."

"Tess and I?" Allie interupted all the humour she had previously had gone. Yet again she was being left behind, for the second time in one day and she was sick of it. Both Tess and Joel acted like she couldn't look after herself, when in reality she was very capable. They had made sure of that. "And what about me Joel? Hmm? What am I, just a spare fucking part?!"

Allie might have been sick of being left out of jobs but Joel was sick of her temper tantrums, she was so damn childish and he was far from above reacting to it with the temper he had. This wasn't even his problem as far as he was concerned, Allie was Tess's sister not his so why the hell was he dealing with it?

With a low sigh Joel watched as Allie stomped around the small room, kicking at any piece of furniture that crossed her path. Tess needed to get her sister to tow the line and fast, or he damn well would. "Tess wants you safe, so any complaints you have take them to her."

"Well she's not here, is she?" Allie shot back viciously. "I am alone ninety percent of the time, and I'm one hundred percent sick of it!"

Had she been a kid Allie would have understood their hesitation to take her on jobs. For months the inescapable feeling of loneliness had snaked its grip around her and no longer could she keep it quiet. Tess and Joel were so close that most of the time Allie was sure they would prefer it if she wasn't around, and if her assumption was correct it would make sense why they left her behind all the time. 

"It is too dangerous, we have to go outside the walls."

Joel had meant to subdue her but he only angered Allie further. They were going outside the walls and leaving her behind knowing full well that they could potentially never come back. "And if you both die? I just wait her forever for you never to return? If you think-" 

Much like their argument earlier that day Joel felt the small band that held his temper back snap. "You think I give a damn what you think? For once in your life do as you are damn well told!"

Embarrassment surged hotly through Allie's body, it seemed Joel was determined to embarrass her as much as he could, and it had Allie glancing at Ellie with uncertain eyes. She didn't know this kid and she sure as hell didn't want anyone she didn't know seeing Joel chastize her like a child. "I hate you." She managed to hiss as she held back the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.

"If hatin' me keeps you safe I'll take it."

Like he cared if she was safe. Allie knew that both Joel and Tess would have a much simpler life if she wasn't in it, and she'd over heard a conversation that confirmed just that. When the previous winter had fully settled in and the harsh weather was killing off more and more people Allie had woken in the middle of the night, too cold to sleep and gone to find Tess. Allie had found her sister huddled over a pile of inventory with Joel, nothing shocking there, what had surprised her and ultimately made her go back to the freezing cold of her make-shift bed was their conversation.

_"It's getting worse, and harder to not get caught. We need to think about our next move. Allie would be safer without us, without breaking quarantine laws. You're smart enough to know our luck is gunna run out sooner or later. You want Allie to be there when it does?" _

Allie had never brought up what she had heard, too afraid that would lead them to do exactly what Joel had suggested. Now though she was kicking herself because she was being left behind even though she hadn't uttered a word about it. She might not have been as hardened as Tess and Joel but she wasn't stupid, and Allie knew that if they were successful leaving the city there was little to no chance of them ever sneaking back in unnoticed.

"You're a real ass to your girlfriend."

That got Allie's attention, and from the way Joel sat bolt upright on the couch she'd guess it had his too. In her entire time knowing Joel Allie had never seen him look more uncomfortable, he looked just about ready to jump out of one of the many windows just to get away from what Ellie had said.

"She's not my girlfriend." Joel grumbled, his eyes refusing to look anywhere near Allie. He was used to Allie's innuendos and teasing, that Joel could take, what he could not handle was some kid he'd just met making such a bold statement. Girlfriend was not a term Joel had even thought about since the outbreak, especially not with Allie or Tess. Labels and feelings complicated things. Getting attached complicated things.

Ellie either didn't read the discomfort she was causing Joel, or she didn't care because much to Allie's amusement she thundered on. "You sure? You argue like all the couples I know."

A smirk tugged at the corners of Allie's lips. God she was enjoying herself, Joel looked about ready to implode and after the shitty way he had been acting with her all day Allie couldn't have been happier.

"I'm sure." Joel said, his voice straining to remain leveled. "New rule, no one speaks until Tess gets here."

As if to cement his new ruling Joel lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. If there was one thing to be said about Joel it was his expert talent of shutting a conversation he didn't like down, he had done it enough times to Allie for her to know it when she saw it. Just because he didn't want to talk didn't mean she didn't though. Moving over to the window Ellie was sat at Allie perched opposite her on the window ledge hoping that she would be more talkative than her other companion.

"He's not so bad. Just a little grumpy, so don't hold it against him too much." She spoke as she traced the raindrops on the glass with her finger.

"How come I've never seen you before?"

"We don't exactly live by the quarantine rules, so we need to be as invisable as possible. That's easier for some of us than others."

At that Joel perked back up. Obviously Allie was never going to get over her little tantrum about being left in the QZ while he and Tess made the drop off, so it left him no choice but to have it out with Allie. Getting to his feet with a soft grunt he moved to the apartment door and opened it before calling over his shoulder. "Allie girl, get out here."

Much to his surprise she immediately hopped off of the ledge and walked through the door as he had instructed. It was getting harder and harder to predict how Allie would react to something and Joel was almost certain he knew the reasoning behind her mood swings. Three definately was a crowd.

"We need to get something clear," Joel began once he had closed the apartment door, and made a quick sweep of the corridor to make sure no unwanted ears were listening. "If I let you come there are rules, Allie girl, rules you don't break. You do what I say, when I say it, and you stick to me. Got it?"

Joel might not have been one for hugs but Allie wrapped her arms tightly around his waist anyway. If Joel gave it the okay then there was no way Tess would argue it much, and that was all Allie wanted. She just didn't want to be left and forgotten. "I don't really hate you."

"I know." With a gentle shove Joel successfully dislodged himself from Allie's viper like arms and took a step back from her warm body. Unlike her sister Allie was extremely tactile, in fact the more he thought about it the more Joel realised she touched people as often as she could, and that was not something he could do. Even the short hug had lit something inside of him he had thought died a long time ago, and the denim cut offs she was wearing sure as hell weren't helping. How he hated the shorts she had been wearing all summer, they mocked him and enticed him all at once turning him into nothing more than a teenage boy who had discovered girls for the first time. "Get changed, Tess will be here soon."

"Yes, Sir." Allie grinned with a mock salute, but before she allowed Joel to escape her she quickly embraced his solid body again. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who read the first chapter, and I hope you all come back for the second :) Big shout out to Eve and Fan FictionLover for your comments, I wasn't sure whether to continue but you both definately pushed me to keep writing. 
> 
> So here we have chapter two :)  
I will be doing some time jumps because I don't want to write out every little thing that happens in the game, just for future reference :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summer 2033**

"Are we there yet?"

They had been walking for what felt like days, and encountered more infected than Allie had seen in years, and now she was over it. "Can't you two just adopt the special child, I'm okay with not being an only child anymore."

Up ahead Tess was leading their little expediation, the way her head shook made it clear that she had heard Allie's complaining but was choosing to ignore it by refusing to give her a response. Nothing unusual there, what was unusual though was the lengths that her sister was going to get Ellie to the Fireflies.

Tess and Joel might have been under the shared opinion that she was some naive child, and maybe in some respects they were right, however that didn't mean she didn't know each of them better than she knew herself -Tess especially. Getting outside the city, killing soldiers, battling infected was not how their operation worked because they were giving more than they were taking.

"Joel, somethings wrong with Tess." Allie whispered, falling in step with Joel at the back of the pack. "Why does she care?"

The question and been rattling around in Allie's head since they had diced with death in the museum, and by the way Joel sighed at her question Allie was certain he was as confused as she was.

"Why don't you put all the energy you're using to talk into walkin', Allie girl."

Allie sighed in disbelief. She hadn't expected Joel to be completely open with her but that didn't mean he had to brush her off entirely. He might have been close with Tess, no one knew her better than Allie though. "When are you going to stop treating me like a little girl? Something is up with her, I know it and so do you."

All night Joel had been wondering exactly what Allie had just asked him, and all night he had endured her neverending stream of complaints. Tess had been so pissed that he had given Allie the okay to come with them that she had put him incharge of her welfare, with the promise of a bullet between his eyes should he fail, meaning that when the occasion called for splitting up he was partnered with Allie. Now all he wanted was for their ridiculous quest to be over and for silence. "You stop givin' me reason to treat you like a little girl and I promise I'll stop."

"Real funny, Old Man." Allie deadpanned with a scowl in Joel's direction. "Would it kill you to take me seriously just once?"

Exasperation washed over Joel's face; the silence he craved was obviously not likely to happen any time soon. Sometimes he questioned why he had stuck around so long -specifically when Allie was in a difficult mood- she made it easy to forget just how irritating she was though, with warm smiles, and melodic laughter suddenly he couldn't remember he'd ever questioned it. In the moment however no amount of cuteness could sway his annoyance.

"It's been a long night." Joel grumbled, praying to some higher force that it would put an end to the conversation.

Allie snorted, he could say that again. "You don't think the Fireflies will kill us once we give them Ellie, do you? Maybe that's why Tess is-" Before she could finish Allie was brought to an abrupt halt by Joel's strong grip on her bicep. Finally she had his full attention.

Seconds earlier Allie might have been complaining about him treating her like a child but all that bravado was gone at the mention of death. The fire that blazed in her eyes when she picked a fight with him had been replaced by what could only be described as real fear, the same fear he saw when they had navigated their way out of the museum, and he couldn't blame her. She was young and far from ready to die, it was no surprise she was getting jumpy about the dicey situation Tess was leading them towards.

"Ain't no one dying today." Joel reassured in his usual stern tone. "You remember what I told you?"

Allie remembered as though it had happened yesterday. Not long after she and Tess had teamed up with Joel, Allie had found herself seperated from them when a group of Raiders had attacked their camp site. For three days she had been scared and alone, just waiting for the Raiders to find her or Clickers, Joel beat them all to it though. The first thing he had done upon finding her was pull her into his comforting arms, and held her so tightly all her fears had instantly evapourated.

_"You're safe, baby girl. You're safe. I swear to you I won't never let anything happen to you, you hear me? Never." _

True to his word Joel had always made sure she was safe, offering no mercy to anyone who was a threat to her, so logically Allie had nothing to worry about when it came to the Fireflies. Still though Allie couldn't help but feel a little anxious about the impending drop off, what if they were highly out numbered? With all the will in the world Joel was only one man.

"C'mon," Joel said as he pushed Allie towards the flooded street that was their last stretch before reaching The Capitol Building. He couldn't see Tess and Ellie any more so he and Allie needed to get a move on and catch up. In truth he too wasn't trustful of Marlene and her Fireflies, so the last thing he wanted was for Tess to walk in without him for back up. "Soon this will all be over, Allie girl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on this update, I want you to know that the story isn't abandoned it just might take me a while to update from time to time :)
> 
> sharkrunaway: Thank you and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
> 
> Laura: Thank you so much for such a lovely compliment :D I hope you enjoy the update even though it is short.
> 
> Siennax3: I agree with you there is no where near enough Joel stories, and I'm so happy you're enjoying mine :)
> 
> Moraa: Thank you for commenting and I will be continuing don't you worry :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summer 2033**

They were dead. Every single one of them was dead.

In a plot twist Allie hadn't seen coming the military had gotten to the drop off point first and left no survivors. Death wasn't an uncommon thing back in the QZ - soldiers shot people every day - what they had been greeted by held an all together new kind of sadness though. What would happen to Ellie now? Allie knew her sister and she knew Joel, there wasn't a chance in hell they would willing take on a providing for another person, child or not.

"What now?" Allie tentitively asked pushing at the arm of a Firefly with her booted foot. She had never understood why the organization had chosen such a ridiculous name, and that alone would dissuade her from ever wanting to join the movement. Who wanted to be known as a Firefly? They might as well have called themselves the Butterflies.

"We go back." Joel answered his face clearly showing how stupid he thought Allie was for even asking the question.

"And Ellie?"

It was strange the attachment Allie was beginning to feel for Ellie, they barely knew each other, yet there was a definite underlying feeling of protectiveness steadily forming. Ellie was all alone, she was just a kid, in no way could Allie just walk away from her like she was nothing but a piece of trash. For so long it had just been the three amigo's; they had endured, they had survived, they were a family, Allie saw no harm in extending their group by one. The look on Joel's face said he couldn't have disagreed more.

"Tess, what are we doing here?"

Weird uncertainty swirled in Allie's gut not only from Joel's question but from her sisters bizarre behaviour. In the entire twenty four years she had been with Tess never had she acted like she currently was; it was panicked, erratic, Allie would even go as far as to say scared. None of those things were Tess, which begged the question why was she acting so weird? It certainly wasn't on Ellie's behalf, Allie was certain of that, and chasing down Fireflies did nothing to aid the rest of them. So what was the big deal? Whatever it was had to be pretty huge because there was no way someone would rifle through a cluster of dead bodies for the fun of it. It was that silent enormity that kept Allie from asking.

"Where was this lab of theirs?" Tess paused her rummaging to shoot the question at Ellie.

Ellie's eyes looked to Allie mirroring the same worry before flicking anxiously between Tess and Joel as she answered. "Sh-she never said. She only mentioned it was some place out west." 

West wasn't just down the road. West was a whole world away, and given the difficulties they had endured trying to get to the drop off it only seemed logical to guess that going west would result in them being killed. Immune or not if Ellie died on the journey to the vague location she was no use to any one.

"What are we doin' here?" Joel pressed. "This is not us."

Joel was doing a stand up job of asking all the questions that Allie was to scared to voice. She didn't want to travel out west, she hadn't really wanted to leave the QZ, she had no idea what the hell was wrong with her sister and it was scaring her more than any Clicker could.

Getting to her feet Tess turned her full attention on Joel, her forehead creasing in disbelief. "What do you know about us? About me?"

"I know that you are smarter than this."

"Really? Guess what? We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time."

"No, we are survivors-"

"This could be our chance-"

"It is over, Tess!" Joel barked. "Now we have tried, lets just go home."

The argument had Allie feeling all different kinds of uncomfortable, like a child seeing their parents argue, if she got involved it would only make matters worse though. Tess and Joel argued regularly, both too stubborn and head strong for them not too, but it had never involved the fate of another human being. Sure they argued about what to do with her alot -Tess could always play the sister card which was an instant win- never had the fate of a child been in their hands.

"Tess-" Allie began but was quickly shut down by a quick fired glare from Joel.

"You want to get her killed?" Asked Joel with such coldness in his voice it had Allie wincing despite the question not being aimed at her. "Because you will if you carry on with this madness. Now, lets go."

The definitive way Joel spoke would have had Allie marching to his tune -even though she was moderately offended he was so certain she couldn't handle the big, wide world- it was so authorative that she tilted her head towards the door, signalling for Ellie to get moving.

"I'm not... I'm not going anywhere. This is my last stop."

Instantly Allie's body froze, any plan to head towards the exit gone. What the fuck did she mean her last stop? Spinning on her heels to look her sister over she couldn't see anything wrong with her apart from the few cuts and bruises she had gained from their travelling. Why was she being so dramatic?

"Our luck had to run out sooner or later." Tess went on only scaring Allie further.

Marching past Joel directly at her older sister she went to touch Tess's arm but was immediately slapped away. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She snapped, the fear turning to rage. "I thought you'd be dying to get back to the grind?"

"Don't touch me!"

The warning was clear but Ellie only confirmed what Allie had assumed when she spoke. "Oh, shit. She's infected."

For twenty years Tess had protected Allie, raised her like her own, and in only a few split seconds that all crumbled away into nothing. The angry looking bite that Tess revealed only served to make it all the more real and made it obvious that in no time at all she would no longer be Tess. Sure they had talked about what would happen if either of them was to get infected but talking was a hell of a lot different to reality. How was she going to shoot her sister? Joel would do it -of that Allie was certain- she didn't want him to do it though. The two of them had had a pact since the outbreak begun and she owed it to Tess to honour it.

"Oops, right?"

Allie's eyebrows quirked in disbelief. She might not have been half the woman her sister was but that did not give Tess the right to glaze over the serverity of their situation and it drove Allie to do something she had never done before. With all her might she shoved her sister as hard as she could, willing it to ease the anger that was bubbling in her chest. It didn't. If anything she found herself only getting more enraged and it had her shoving Tess again.

"Don't you fucking dare." Allie hissed, viciously wiping the tears from her face. "Don't act like you don't care."

"Allie." Spoke Joel in an attempt to defuse the argument before it could truly begin. He had witnessed them fight before, he had been the voice of reason, he had never seen Allie be physical towards Tess though and the uncharted territory made him edgy. Before the world had gone up in smoke he had been an even tempered, calm guy, now he's snap a mans neck without a second thought. What if Tess dying sent Allie in the same direction he had gone?

"I care." Allie went on undetered by Joel's interference. "Joel sure as shit does too. So why don't you?" She heard how pathetic she sounded and the crumble in Tess's stoney exterior said she did too, yet still Allie went ignored.

Marching over to Ellie Tess snatched up the young girls arm and pointed at the bumped scar of her bite. "This was three weeks." She began. "I was bitten an hour ago and it's already worse. This is fucking real, Joel. You've got get this girl to Tommy's. He used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go."

"No, no, that was your crucade. I am not doing that." 

It had been years since Tommy had been mentioned. When he had left them all they had gone on as though he had never existed because that was how Joel had wanted it. In fact Allie was certain that she and Tess were the only people who even knew Joel had a brother. Was he going to do the same with Tess? Would she be forbidden to so much as mention her sisters name? No, she would never do that no matter how angry Joel got.

"There's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me. So you get her to Tommy's."

Joel felt Allie's eyes on him like a scorching heat. It wasn't that long ago he had been shooting down her accusations about he and Tess, which now looked utterly ridiculous. They weren't together though -at least not how Allie meant- it was a mutual need for physical contact on lonely nights and nothing more, not that there was a chance in hell he'd be able to convince Allie of that now. Looking over at her a whole new problem presented itself. How was he going to keep all of them alive? Tess was right he did feel an obligation, but it was not to get Ellie to his brother. His only obligation was to make good on the one promise he had made, and that was to keep Allie alive if anything should happen to Tess. How the hell was he supposed to do that while going on a suicide mission out west? Before he could voice any of it the distant sound of a vehicle drew his attention.

"They're here." Said Tess, drawing her pistol. "I can buy you some time but you have to run."

Instantly Allie found her voice again. For as long as she could remember she had gone along with what ever Tess said no questions asked, but this was a step too far. "Run?!" She practically shrieked. "Just leave you here to die? No! No, I won't do that!"

"You have to." Tess cut in. "I will not turn into one of those things. Please, Allie. Please just make this easy for me."

Inside her chest Allie's heart hammered threatening to break clean out of her chest. In a panic she grabbed at Joel like the child he saw her as and frantically clawwed at his armfor reasons she couldn't explain as words tumbled from her mouth. "Joel." She pleaded, a fresh wave of tears pouring down her round cheeks. "Joel, tell her...We can't just...I don't want..."

Joel had seen Allie scared but what he was looking down at was something else entirely, and it made his own uncomfortable memories threaten to raise their ugly heads. "I can fight-"

"No!" Yelled Tess as she grabbed ahold of Joel and tugged him close to her so she could speak in a quieter voice. "You keep her safe. She'll need you now more than ever. Now, go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long awaited update, and I'm sorry about that :) I am writing as often as I can and I can only say that even if there is a long delay on an update the story isn't abandoned. So please stick around and let me know your thoughts :)
> 
> SiennaX3: Thank you for the comment, and I hope you're well too :) Sorry for the wait on an update but I hope it was enjoyable.
> 
> EtherealGlade: I know not alot happened but I hope you liked the chapter and will stick around for more :)
> 
> bitesizebuckaroo: Yay! I'm so happy you like the dynamic so far! Also thank you for such a lovely compliment :D I hope you liked this chapter even though it really was just a cut scene from the game :)
> 
> AlphaLoneWolf808: I'm so happy you like it! I know this chapter didn't really revolve around Allie and Joel but I couldn't just jump it I don't think. I hope you enjoyed it all the same :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summer 2033**

She was empty. Her body was now just a shell to move her from one place to the next, and it had done just that without Allie even realising how much ground had been covered. The scenery around her changed, infected and humans attacked, but it barely registered because all she could see was Tess's body lifeless on the floor of the Capitol Building. For the first time in her life Allie couldn't find the bright side.

"Allie girl, you doin' okay?"

Was she okay? Allie wasn't sure she was ever going to be okay again, not that she could outwardly tell Joel that. She had witnessed death and loss, but none of that compared to enduring it herself. Was this how people felt when Tess or Joel had killed their partner?

"I'm fine." She lied, not ready to be honest with Joel. Watching him she was barely able to tell that he had cared for Tess at all. Obviously he had swept it aside into a box that he never intended on opening again and it had the warm glow of anger bubbling in Allie's chest. How could he act like Tess had never even existed? They had obviously been as close as she had joked, yet there Joel stood like they had just left her back in the QZ, not dead in the Capitol Building.

"You sure about that?"

The lie was obvious, for one Joel had never seen Allie be quiet for longer than ten minutes and the day was almost out, so he didn't know who she thought she was fooling with her 'I'm fine'. Secondly, when Bill had first mentioned Tess expectant eyes had shot onto him, willing him to be the one to explain what had happened, he hadn't disclosed it though and since then Allie had been completely silent.

"I said I'm fine." Allie shot back, shoving past Joel to follow the path Ellie had taken through the abandoned house. She had followed him all across Bill's town - even through an entirely overran Highschool - that did not mean she had to be anywhere near him in the short bursts of safety they encountered. With that in mind, she purposefully marched into the kitchen leaving the ever raising yells of Bill and Joel behind her.

Finally alone with nothing but the distorted voices of Joel and Bill filling the space it came as a surprise to Allie that her emptiness carried significant weight. In the strangest way she felt as though she had gained several pounds, like someone had tied rocks to her ankles and she was drowing out of water. Never in her life had she been more thankful that her parents had died when she was too young to remember.

"Hey, you okay?" Asked Ellie in a quiet voice from the doorway.

She shifted on her feet giving away the discomfort she was feeling, but unlike with Joel Allie knew that the younger girl would actually acknowledge what had happened and show some emotion. It was for that reason that Allie found herself answering honestly. "Tess raised me," She began in a small voice. "She was more like my mom than a sister."

A sad but knowing smile briefly flashed across Ellie's face as she hopped up onto the counter beside Allie. "I lost someone I really cared about too."

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Ellie knew deeply of loss. At fourteen she was being hauled across the country by strangers to be given to the Fireflies without a parent or guardian in sight; if that didn't sum up loss Allie didn't know what did. "When did you start feeling again?"

"I guess when I met you guys."

Ellie's answer took Allie by surprise, so much so that she pulled her gaze away from the scuff marks on her tattered boots to look at her with a quirked eyebrow. "Really?"

Nodding her head earnestly a smile so warm spread across Ellie's face that it had Allie smiling too. "Really. You were all so close, like a proper family. You might be being paid to help me but this feels real." For a moment she paused to laugh. "Even if Joel can be kind of a dick."

"Such a dick." Allie laughed in return. Life was going to be hard without Tess, sometimes unbearable, but maybe that was why Ellie had come into all their lives. Had it been just she and Joel Allie was certain Tess would be an unspeakable memory, but Ellie offered an emotionally available companion who despite her age was pretty damn wise.

"He cares about you. A lot."

No matter how closed off and cold Joel acted Allie knew he cared about her just as he had cared about Tess, despite him refusing to show it. She was hurting though and just for once she had wanted Joel to offer some form of comfort, or at the very least to acknowledge the great loss she had suffered. Tess had been more like her mom than her sister, she was the only member of her family that she could remember, and now she was gone forever. Was it really too much to ask for a little compassion?

"I know he does." Allie admitted with a sigh. When Ellie had been around him for longer she would quickly understand the frustration she was feeling. "Some times you just need a hug, do you know what I mean?"

If her memory served correct -which it did- Joel had hugged her a grand total of one time, and that had been when he had found her lost and terrfied years ago. The odds of him so much as patting her on the back over Tess's death were miniscule but that didn't stop Allie from wishing he would. To her complete and utter surprise a pair of arms did wrap around her body, they just didn't belong to Joel.

Leaning her head on Allie's right shoulder, Ellie wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and gave a small but significant squeeze. "I totally get what you mean."

Unbeknownst to them Joel watched the encounter silently from the shadowed doorway. Allie was hurting -that much was abundently clear and entirely expected- he just couldn't do what she needed him to. After everything with Sarah he had closed that part of himself off, it had died along with her, and too many years had passed to back peddle. Not that he wanted to. By not allowing himself to be emotionally available to other people he had created a world where he could no longer suffer from loss himself -or at least he thought he had right up until Tess had been bitten.

"You two done gossipin'?" He eventually asked once Ellie had removed her arms from Allie, making his presense known before he stepped into the kitchen. "You should be lookin' for supplies. Bill's waitin' by the car."

Slipping off the counter top of the tattered kitchen took the lead and shoved into Joel's solid shoulder as she moved to squeeze past him. She would do as he asked for Ellie's sake but she would make damn sure he knew she was pissed. 

"Hey!" He barked with as much annoyance as Allie had predicted. "You need to stop this shit right now! We have a long way to go and this pissy attitude is getting real old."

A rage unlike anything she had ever felt before burned through every fibre of her being and had Allie making a sharp turn back to Joel instead of going to the car. "My sister is dead." It didn't feel like anything more needed to be said, it wasn't like her reaction was unusual and much to her surprise Joel went rigid when she had spoken.

"An' so will you if you don't do as you are damn well told."

Joel's words hurt more than any physical hit ever could and it made her chin tremble as she fought not to cry -the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was even weaker than he already did. "I have been doing as I'm told. It's all I've ever done! None of that really matters though does it? Because Tess is still dead and there was nothing you could do about it."

She was right and he didn't appreciate the uncomfortable feelings it was making surface. He would have done anything to save Tess but with all the will in the world there was nothing he could have done, and having Allie highlight just how useless he had been made his fists clench by his sides. "Go and get in the car." He spoke with a measured calm that he wasn't sure he could keep going if she kept pushing.

"Yes, Sir." Allie said with a mock salute and a hard scowl. If that was how Joel wanted to play then she was happy to play along. Hopefully Ellie would fill the awkward silence that was inevitably going to encompass thier long drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update :) next chapter will revolve more around Joel and Allie's relationship but I hope you all enjoyed the chapter :D Also I don't know about you guys but I am literally bursting with excitement for the new game! only 2 weeks now!
> 
> AlphaLoneWolf808: Nooo! Don't cry, Allie will be keeping Tess's memory alive :) Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for commenting :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summer 2033**

For what felt like days but was in actuality no more than hours Allie, Joel and Ellie had been making their journey to find Tommy. Whether on foot or by car it had always been set to be a painfully long trip but stuck in the confines of the car they had aquired through Bill's help Allie was offically bored.

The cassett that Ellie had stolen still played on its never ending loop even though she had fallen asleep little over an hour ago; obviously Joel was as eager as Allie was to keep the silence from suffocating the car. There wasn't a chance in hell she was going to apologize for her attitude even if that meant things being super awkward between them. For so long she had danced to both Tess and Joel's tune, ever the Yes Man, this time she refused to back down. Tess was dead and he needed to acknowledge her loss.

Twiddling strands of her hair between her fingers Allie examined the multiple split ends like they were the most interesting things on the planet - and they almost were with the atmosphere the way it was. She had always enjoyed pulling them apart, seeing how far up the strand it would get before it snapped, even though Tess had always yelled at her saying it was bad for her hair. When she had been younger and the world that had died had interested her Tess told her stories about salons where women went to get their hair cut and coloured all different ways. Eyeing up a particularly bad split end it was hard for her to believe such places had existed when she had only ever had her hair hacked off by blunt scissors or a sharp hunting knife.

Before they had ever even met Joel they had travelled back to their hometown, even going as far as to return to the house Tess had grown up in. Despite being heavily looted and trashed Allie had still been able to imagine how cozy and homely it had once been, even though she couldn't remember anything about it. Whilst wondering through their home Tess had found an old photo album that hadn't been entirely destroyed, and it was from that Allie had first seen what her sister had once been.

Thick, brown waves framed a less angular face that smiled at who ever had taken the photo, instead of the scowl that Allie had come to know her sister for. The hardness she had developed over the years of surviving were no where to be seen. She had looked happy. The photo had been Allie's most treasured item since that day even though it carried a sense of sadness. Tess had lost her life the day of the outbreak and adapted to the new one with exceptional speed and skill just to keep her alive. She owed everything to her sister. Sure, she could be cold and cruel, but she had never once put herself before Allie.

Her closeness with Tess had been one of the reason she had never truly understood why Tommy had left them. No matter how many times they argued she never would have left Tess, when Tommy had left though there had been such hatred between the he and Joel that he had left under the cover of darkness without saying goodbye to anyone but her. She had been a teenager at the time and was therefore told even less, but from the nuggets of overheard information she had managed to piece together it was Joel that had caused Tommy to want to leave.

"You think Tommy will recognize me?"

Joel almost couldn't believe his ears when Allie finally broke the silence she had forced upon them, so much so that his brain fumbled for a few seconds to form an answer. There wasn't a chance in hell Tommy was going to recognise the Allie that sat beside him in the passenger seat, last time he'd seen her she'd been a kid and now she was very much a woman. "I'm sure he will."

"Think he'll recognize you?" Allie pointedly asked.

A frown creased Joel's brow but he kept his voice even. "Of course he'll recognize me. We are brothers, Allie. I've known him a hell of a long time because of that."

Maybe it was foolish to poke at Joel, to actively antagonize him, but Allie couldn't stop herself. He had ignored her sisters existence so now she was going to make him as miserable as she was by making his brother exist.

With that in mind she gave a non chalent shrug of her shoulders and began her plan. "I dunno, it's been a long time. You kind of got old." The quiet snort Joel made let Allie know he thought she was nothing more than teasing, boy how wrong she was about to prove him. Shifting her gaze over to him she spoke again, her voice no longer light and teasing. "Also if I remember correctly didn't Tommy say back then that he didn't recognize you no more?"

Joel's eyes met Allie's, mirroring the coldness, the realisation of her true intentions hitting him like a slap. "People change."

"Some not for the better." Allie shot back, her eyes making a critical sweep of him. She was being unfair and she knew that. Things had been different back then - Joel had been different - so under usual circumstances she never would have thrown it in his face.

As she had anticipated Joel bit back. Gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white he made quick glances at her, not quite willing to crash their only car for the sake of an argument. She had been gunning for a fight all day and now he was sure as shit going to give it to her. "You survived because of me. Without me you would have died the day you got seperated from our group. Without me some Hunter or infected would have gutted you. So you are welcome, Allie."

"You were a Hunter!"

"And so was Tommy!" Joel snapped. "And so was Tess! We did what we had to to survive. If I had been smart I would have let you die."

Allie wanted nothing more than to slap Joel until he hurt almost half as bad as he was making her feel, but in doing so she would be showing him how much he was effecting her and that was worse. "So why didn't you?!"

The last thing Joel wanted to do was admit the truth. He had kept all emotions but anger expertly bottled up and he was anything but willing to let that all go to waste. That being said no one could rile him up like Allie, and it had him seeing red and his mouth moving before his brain could stop it. "Because of Tess! You were all she had in the world, she would have died without you! No matter how fuckin' annoying you are she loved you, and I couldn't let her know loss like that!"

An entirely different silence engulfed the car and had Allie gawping. When she had instigated the argument she had never in her wildest imagination thought that Joel would actually be honest, and now he had she didn't know what to do with it. Even without his admission she had known how deeply he cared for Tess, all she had wanted was for him to act like she had died. Now she had more than she even knew she could have.

"Did you love her?"

"No, I didn't love her." Joel eventually answered after a deep sigh. "Love don't exist no more, Allie. There ain't a place for it in this world, and you need to realise that."

It was the kind of answer that Allie had grown to expect from Joel, she didn't doubt its truth though. Was he even capable of love? No matter how much evidence Joel provided to show he wasn't still Allie believed that he was very much capable of loving someone, and she was embarrassed to admit that a slither of her wished it to be her.

"So I'm going to die unloved and alone. That's something to look forward to." She deadpanned as she rest her cheek on her fist and looked out the window.

"I ain't gunna let you die."

A small smile tugged at the corners of Allie's mouth. It was a bold statement - Joel was a skilled killer but survival was ninety percent luck and he had no control of that - the sheer fact that Joel was determinded to keep her safe was enough to melt her though. No matter whether it was to honor a promise he had made Tess, or just because he wanted her around, it was such an un-Joel like thing to say that it worked at thawing the ice Allie had been feeling towards him.

"Promise?"

Joel turned to meet Allie's gaze, the harshness in them now gone. "Promise."

More than anything Allie wanted to put her hand on top of Joel's, to feel the comfort that could only come from another humans touch, but she knew that would be pushing her luck so she kept her hands gripped around the barrel of her shot gun. The cold metal felt nothing like skin but it would have to do.

"Get some sleep, Allie girl." Joel spoke in his usual authoritive manner. He wanted the conversation steered away from where it was, or better yet over entirely. "It's your turn to drive soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Woo! I hope you all enjoy it :)
> 
> Kiwi: I'm so happy you're liking the story, and I have no intentions to abandon it :) Hope you liked the update :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summer 2033**

"What the fuck, Joel?"

After her driving shift Allie had managed to convince Ellie to switch seats with her so she could lay out across the back. The cushioned seats had felt like a dream to her exhausted body allowing her to quickly fall into a deep sleep for the first time in a while. She barely felt like she had slept more than a few minutes when she was abruptly woken by being flung onto the floor of the car. Still groggy from sleep Allie pulled herself up, rubbing at her blurry eyes so she could get a clear picture of why Joel had so rudely awoken her.

The highway was completely blocked off leaving turning down into the city the only option for a car to travel, and it had Allie's stomach turning. To the untrained eye the scene simply looked like abandoned cars but she had seen it many, many times before. 

"Screw it." Joel eventually decided after making a sweeping evaluation of their surroundings. If they went back odds of finding more gas, or even unblocked roads, were extremely unlikely so it seemed foolish to waste the progress they had made. In the rear view mirror he could see the apprehensive look on Allie's face as he swung the car down the turning; unlike Ellie who had never left the Boston QZ she knew that Infected weren't the only monsters in the world. "We'll be through here in no time."

While she appreciated Joel's optimism it didn't stop Allie from leaning into the front of the car to grab her shot gun. God she hoped he was right but on the chance that he wasn't there wasn't a chance in hell she wasn't going to be armed. "She needs a gun."

"She's a kid."

"So?" Allie shot back, her brow knitting. What did it matter how old Ellie was? A Hunter would kill her regardless of her age at least if she was armed she stood a chance at defending herself. "I had a gun when I was her age. Didn't see you pitching a fit back then."

In the rear view Joel noted the challenging quirk of Allie's brow and let out a measured sigh. What she didn't know was that he had actually fought Tess on the fact that she was armed. The odds of some kid shooting him vastly out weighed the chance of them shooting an attacker, and that was exactly why he would not be allowing Ellie to have a gun no matter how much Allie went on.

"Can you not fight me on every goddamn thing?"

"I don't! Ellie, do I fight him on every goddamn thing?"

"Do not bring her into this." Answered Joel, not wanting to give Ellie the chance to side with Allie. God he needed some male company, or better yet no company. "I am not givin' her a gun and that's the end of it."

"We should all have a gun, Joel." Allie continued. "What if something happens when you're not there, huh?" 

"Would you just st-" 

"Hey guys!" Interrupted Ellie, her eyes fixed outside the windshield despite the pairs arguing. "I think that guy needs help."

Instantly the argument was forgotten as Allie moved her attention to where Ellie was pointing. Just down the road a man was limping as he tried to flag them down. Shuffling back in her seat she quickly clicked the seat belt around her. 

"Are we gunna help him?" Asked Ellie, oblivious to the change in Allie's demeanour. 

On instinct alone Allie managed to snap Ellie's seat belt shut just before Joel slammed his foot down on the accelerator. If they crashed she sure as hell didn't want to go sailing through the windshield. 

"He ain't even hurt."

* * *

As much as Allie enjoyed being right she would have much prefered to be wrong about Joel turning down into the city. All day the three of them had fought their way through the god forsaken place, taking hit after hit until she was certain they were going to die before ever getting out. That was atleast until they had bumped into two other survivors who knew the city a lot better than they did.

Joel rarely trusted people so she had been more that a little surprised when he had agreed to team up withe the brothers. There was strength in number so maybe that was why, what ever his reasoning Allie was just glad to have found somewhere safe to stop. They had been going none stop since the crash and all the hits her body had taken had finally made themselves known.

"You okay?" Asked Joel, seemingly reading her mind.

Wincing as he took the seat beside her she forced a smile attempting to reassure him. "I'm fine, just tired."

Allie could play dumb all she liked but Joel knew her well enough to know bullshit when he heard it - even if he hadn't the fact she winced every time she moved her arm was a dead give away. "Let me see." He instructed as he nodded his head at her left shoulder.

"I can't." Allie admitted begrudgingly. She had tried to get a look at the injury in the bathroom but had been unable to actually lift her arm enough to get her top off.

"C'mere."

A hot blush spread across her cheeks the second Joel's fingers made contact with the hem of her t shirt. There was nothing remotely romantic about the situation and there was no way Joel would ever look at her in that way but it didn't stop her heart from racing at the thought of being topless infront of him. Thank god she had a bra on.

"Shit."

Joel's breath fanned out across her bare shoulder leaving goosebumps in its wake and had the blush on her cheeks deepening. "I look that good huh?" Allie awkwardly lauged.

Tentively he touched the mottled skin of Allie's shoulder, unsure whether he was more annoyed that she hadn't mentioned it before or that he had allowed it to happen in the first place. "Why didn't you tell me?" Joel asked as he worked out a plan to remove the chunk of glass. "No one doesn't feel a shard of glass in their shoulder, Allie girl. What if it'd been a bullet?"

"We didn't have time- Fuck!"

With Allie distracted Joel had seized the opportunity and yanked the entire shard out in one go. The moment he did fresh blood pooled in the wound before trickling down her back making the depth of it became clear. The width of the glass was small but it was a sizable shard and had wedged itself deep in Allie's shoulder, so much so that Joel was shocked that she had been able to make it so far without telling him. Stemming the bleeding with the t shirt she had just removed he clicked his fingers at the elder of the two brothers who's name he couldn't recall. "I need you to go in my rucksack and get the medkit."

Henry did as he was requested no questions asked and it gave Allie no time to cover up before he was by Joel's side. She had never been ashamed of her body, as far as she was concerned it was just a machine that kept her alive, that being said she wasn't entirely comfortable with some guy she had just met seeing her in her bra. Apparently her discomfort was obvious because he averted his gaze to the opposite wall as he held the medkit out for Joel to take, but after a few seconds his eyes flicked over to her bare torso. 

"That looks pretty deep." Henry said when his eyes met Allie's.

It felt deep and removing the glass had only made the pain worse. She couldn't even remember the last time she had had a real injury - had she ever had one? Tess and Joe had done such an excellent job at keeping her safe Allie was almost certain that she had never been badly hurt before. They might have been infuriatingly bossy but the results spoke for themselves.

"It's not too ba- Fuck, Joel!" The white hot heat that could only be from alcohol entering the wound cut Allie off short and had her eyes scrunching shut. He could have at the very least warned her before he doused her in the liquid.

"Stop your fussin'." Grumbled Joel with a roll of his eyes. Henry's assumption was right but he had seen much worse and the last thing he needed was Allie milking the injury for the coming days. "I'm gunna stitch it." He warned before he pierced the skin with curved needle.

Immediately Allie's body went rigid as she fought to stay still through the pain. The quicker Joel finished the sooner she could get a top back on and stop displaying herself to everyone in the room and it was that thought which drove her to remain completely still. The warmth of another persons touch almost had her heart rate jumping again, and almost her body almong with it. For the second time in the past two days Joel surprised her again with a very un-Joel like move.

His hand was meant to be reassuring, comforting even, of that Allie was sure but what had her confused was why he was doing it. Joel was very much a brush yourself off and carry on kind of guy who had no time for babying people, so the callous feel of his palm on her bare back completely threw her. Was it because of Henry? Perhaps Joel wanted to make a good impression? The thought almost had Allie laughing. Joel didn't care what anyone thought of him, let alone some guy they had only just met.

"All done." He announced after he bit the needle free from the thread. Hand still resting on Allie's back he took in his handy work with a short sigh; it wasn't life threatening but she was definitely going to have a scar. "You can wear my spare tee shirt."

Praying that the embarrassing crimson glow had gone from her cheeks Allie dared to look at Joel over her shoulder. They had been close before - much to his disdain - something felt different though. His face was hard as it always was, almost as though he was set in stone, but there was a feeling there that she had never felt from him before and she found no matter how much she wanted to she was unable to look away from the intensity of his eyes.

"Here you are."

Henry's voice successfully shattered whatever it was that Allie had identified between she and Joel, and made her suddenly overly aware of the fact she was still topless. Accepting the tee shirt she desperately tried to get it on as quickly as humanly possible, the cut on her back had other ideas though and forced her to do something she really didn't want to do. "Joel," She began. "Can you give me a hand?"

Her question was answered with nothing more than a grunt and Joel yanking the top down over her head.

"I'm gunna check on Ellie."

There was the Joel that Allie knew. The Joel that would rather dangle his arm infront of a Clicker than show any emotion that wasn't anger. It was silly of her to ever dream that Joel would offer more than being her personal guard, yet no matter how much pain it brought her Allie couldn't stop herself from wondering.

"What's the deal between you two?" Asked Henry once Joel was at a far enough distance to not hear him. He might not have known the man well but it was abundently clear he was not aman to be fucked with.

"Deal?"

Dropping down to sit beside a now fully clothed Allie, Henry offered her a bottle of water and half of his nut bar. "I thought he was your dad at first."

At that Allie couldn't stop herself from laughing. In what universe did Joel act like he was her dad? She had never full experienced what it was like to have on but she was sure that they actually acted like they cared about their kids, and Joel definitely didn't do that. "What changed your mind?"

"Apart from the fact you call him Joel? It's the way he looks at you."

Again Allie laughed. "You mean with annoyance?"

Henry shook his head no as he shoved the last bite of his bar into his mouth. "The dude might be old but he's not old enough to not want you."

A blush so bright that Allie was certain she was actually glowing consumed her face. What the hell was she supposed to say? She didn't know Henry that well and his bold statement had rendered her entirely speechless. Joel didn't want her, not in the sense that Henry meant at least, he had made that very clear during their argument in the apartment.

_"I'm a man, Allie, and it takes more than some spoilt little girl to get me off."_

The words still made her die a little inside and Henry saying what he had said certainly wasn't helping. "Shut up." She finally said with a light laugh. "Joel was with my sister." It might have been a lie but only half of one.

"Maybe, but that doesn't change the way he looks at you when he thinks no ones looking." Said Henry, his eyebrow raising playfully.

"Shut up." Allie laughed nudging at him with her good shoulder. "Wouldn't let him hear you saying shit like that though. Well not if you like your nose unbroken."

"You threatening me?" He teased.

"Maybe."

For as long as Allie could remember she had wanted to be around some one, anyone, her own age and now she was it was just as good as she had imagined it would be. He might have been trying to embarrass her with his teasing but secretly she hoped the brothers would stick with the until Tommy's. Ellie was enjoying the company of another kid, maybe they could scrap looking for the Fireflies all together? Before she could ask Henry what his plans were though Joel's voice cut in from across the room.

"Allie, you need to get some sleep while you can instead of flirtin'. Not long till we leave."

Offering a smile of apology she got to her feet to go set up a bed near to Joel and Ellie. After taking her first step Henry's voice had her pausing.

"See I told you. He's jealous."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update :)   
I completed TLOU2 last week and I personally loved it. I won't give any spoilers away here because I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but the games release is why there had been a delay on posting.   
I hope you all enjoy this chapter :) 
> 
> wintersburn: I'm so happy you love the Joel/Allie dynamic. She's super fun to write and I think her personality is what Joel needs! I hope you liked the chapter :)
> 
> Kiwi: Thank you so much! I hope you liked this update as much as the others :)
> 
> Gracie: I apologize on the delay but I hope it was worth it :)
> 
> SiennaX3: Thank you so freakin' much! :)
> 
> Ellegirl98: So happy you're loving the story :)
> 
> Luna: Wait no more! I hope the wait was worth it for you :)
> 
> nefertare: Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying the story :)
> 
> qrangr: Thank you so much for such a lovely comment. I'm so glad that you think I'm writing Joel well, and I hope i keep doing just that! Let me know what you thought of the chapter :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summer 2033**

Joel had woke before Allie, the loss of his warmth waking her from the light sleep she had all but forced herself into. At first she hadn't even expected him to allow her to sleep as close to him as they usually did - they were in unfamiliar company after all - but there was no way she could sleep alone. Joel had surprised her though and made a small space for her to curl into right at his side. It was how they had slept ever since he had found her alone and scared all those years ago; they never touched but it was comforting just to know someone was beside her.

"Allie girl." Joel said with a gentle nudge to her side. "Time to get movin'."

Allie thanked her lucky stars that he had believed she was still sleeping. He and Henry had been having what could only be described as an awkward conversation and she was happy to not be dragged into it.

Sat around the small collections of guns they had the two men had been going over ammo when Henry had dared to ask who the three of them were. Inching closer to Ellie's sleeping form, not just for warmth but to be able to hear better, Allie had kept her face tucked downwards to avoid detection.

_"You guys seem close. Has Allie been with you and your daughter long?" _

More than anything Allie had wanted to jump in and save Henry from the verbal assault he was about to endure but that would only have made things worse. She had learnt very early on that personal questions were a no go when it came to Joel and if the brothers were going to be around until they reached Tommy's it was a lesson they needed to learn.

_"You realise that we can do this without talkin'? I don't give a shit who you are or where you came from, and I damn well ain't tellin' you anythin' you don't need to know." _

What Joel had said hadn't been as bad as Allie had anticipated but it was a cold as she had, maybe more so, and it left Henry stumbling over how or whether to keep the conversation going. It was at that point she had seriously debated on showing that she was awake, not two mintues later Joel had made the decision for her and nudged her.

"Shall I wake the kids up?"

The room was still heavy with awkwardness and waking the kids seemed like the best way to clear it, Joel's shaking head stopped her before she shook Ellie's shoulder.

"Get your stuff together." He instructed as he threw her rucksack at her. "I need to go over some things with you."

Joel never ran anything past her, ever, so it was likely he was going to recite off a long list of rules he had set in place for her to follow. He had her feeling like a kid at the best of times and being around another person her own age was only making it worse. Henry must had thought she was a completely useless little girl too and it was embarrassing. "What kind of things?"

"Will you just get your ass over here."

With a huff Allie did as he asked, throwing a small smile at Henry when she passed him. She wanted to reassure him that despite the grumpiness Joel was a good man, just like she had done with Ellie. More than most people she knew exactly what he was capable of - in all honesty the other three had no real idea - he was a good person though and she didn't want to lose their new travel companions because of Joel's callous dispostion.

"They'll leave us." She hissed once the two of them were tucked away in the far corner of the room. "If you keep acting like a dick he will take his brother and leave."

As far as Joel was concerned they could leave when ever they wanted, he certainly didn't want the extra company, he did need Henry to get out of the city though so what Allie was saying made sense. None of that was why he had wanted to talk to her though. In the low glow of the flash lights the dark circles beneath her eyes were more prominant, the cuts and bruises on her face deeper, and it only amplified the guilt he had been feeling about her shoulder. He had promised Tess he would keep her safe and so far he was failing spectacularly.

"And I won't stop them. Them livin' or dyin' is not my concern. I need to get you and Ellie out of here alive or all the shit we've been through so for is for nothin'. Turn around." 

Huffing again Allie turned away from Joel. "They're good people, Joel. Would it be so bad if they stuck around?" The back of her tee shirt lifted as she asked and was swiftly followed by gentle touches to her injured shoulder. A sigh nearly slipped from her lips at the soft grazes of Joel's fingertips. God she needed more physical contact. People like her sister and Joel got through life not needing the feel of another person, it was weird, who didn't like to feel safe, or loved? It wasn't like she wanted sex just a hug from another person would have been nice.

Done inspecting the stitches, Joel pulled the tee shirt - his tee shirt - back to its original position and pushed down the wave of heat that had began to pump through his veins. What the fuck was wrong with him? "You do as I say, you hear me, Allie girl? Or next time you might not be so lucky."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips as looked over her shoulder. "I'm always lucky." She said. "I got stuck with you."

"Oh, you're stuck with me?" Joel shot back giving Allie a playful push as they returned to their makeshift camp. "The only one who's stuck with anything is me."

Moments where Joel let down his tough guy barrier were what Allie lived for. The flashes of the man he had once been were as beautiful as they were fleeting, and it only had her craving more. "Shut up, Old Man. I am nothing short of a joy. Henry would agree, wouldn't you?"

The infectious smile that had been aimed at Joel shone over to Henry, who immediately man returned it. Both Allie and Ellie had seemed to form instantly natural bonds to the brothers and it shouldn't have bothered him the way it did, but Joel couldn't help but get prickley over the ease between Allie and Henry. He couldn't blame her for wanting to be around someone her own age - for so long she had only had he and Tess for company - however that didn't mean that she should get attached to the first one they met. In actuality they knew nothing about Henry and Sam, or if their intentions were as innocent as getting out of the city.

Watching Allie and Henry though Joel couldn't deny the obvious mutual warmth between the two. Throwing her head back as she let out a loud laugh to a joke he didn't hear his eyes followed the long blonde strands of her hair. They swayed around nearly at her waist which was hidden by the loose fitting tee shirt he had given her. What the hell was wrong with him? She was younger than Sarah would have been. 

"Lets go."

The hard tone to Joel's voice had Allie's laughter quickly dying. Giving Ellie one last check to make sure she had everything she needed, she nudged the younger girl ahead to follow Henry and his brother out of the door Joel was holding open. It was always the same pattern with him. He would be lighten up for a fraction of a second and then go back to his cold default. There was an edge to his voice though and it was that that had Allie hanging back from the rest of their group.

"Is something wrong?"

"Just go, Allie Girl." Joel replied with a sigh.

Allie's brow scrunched in confusion. What had she done now? More often than not she knew exactly why he was annoyed with her, but since Tess had died it felt as though he couldn't stand to be around her. Perhaps now that Tess wasn't around he didn't want her there any more either? It wasn't totally far fetched, Tess had been the thing that had kept them tied together and with her gone why would he want her there? The thought of being alone had an uncomfortable sickness swirling in her stomach. 

"Joel," She began but stopped when his callous eyes landed on her. Some things were better left unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on an update AAANNNDDD for this being a short one. I got sucked into TLOU2 and it kinda took over my life haha. I am back though and I'm gonig to start putting update dates in the description so you guys know when the next one is coming :)   
Anyway I hope you enjoy this short update :)
> 
> AllessaRen2198: Thank you so much, I am so happy you're enjoying the story so far and I hope you like the update :)
> 
> Silvia: Thank you for such a lovely comment :)
> 
> Minimoomin: I'm glad you like the story :)
> 
> Potato_Basket: Sorry it was so long for an update! It was actually your comment that made me realize how long it had been, so thank you for that! I hope the month wait was worth it, and I swear it won't be that long again :)
> 
> BbluePparadise16: There is so much more to come! :)
> 
> callme_leaf: I can totally get behind that chant! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summer 2033**

Waves lapping at the shore was the first thing Allie heard. In the hazy darkness behind her closed eyes the rhythmic to and fro was instantly recognizable and calming. She didn't really want to open her eyes, the soft crashing of water was almost hypnotic, or at least it was until frantic splashes joined in.

Flashes of what had happened suddenly assaulted her. The city, the tank, Henry leaving them. The bridge. Ellie had jumped with no warning leaving she and Joel no choice but to follow. He had held her hand but the second they hit the water the current yanked them apart. After that there was only darkness, then the waves.

_"Allie?! Allie, can you hear me?"_

Ellie's voice sounded distant, almost as though it were a dream, but she definitely heard it. Peeling open her eyes Allie blinked rapidly to clear her vision; above her was nothing but a clear night sky, no buildings, no ruins, so they obviously wasn't in the Pittsburgh any more.

_"Is she awake?"_

_"Barely. What the fuck do we do?" _

Panic saturated Ellie's question, helping Allie fight the fog that was holding her brain hostage. If Ellie was scared that meant they weren't safe, and if they weren't safe she sure as shit needed to get moving. Clawing her fingers into the wet sand, the grains sticking beneath her nails, Allie pushed herself upright with all her might. Like a switch in her had been turned on her senses all suddenly leapt to life all but slamming her with information and making her head hurt more than it already did. The tide grew louder, the voices clearer, the sand scratched at her frozen skin. Where the hell were they?

"Allie, you okay?" Henry asked kneeling beside her.

Nodding her head yes, Allie noticed something just behind Henry. Squinting to make the object out it dawned on her that she was looking at a boot, specifically a mans boot as it was much too large to be a womans. "What is that?" She croaked mainly to herself, but as the words left her mouth realisation of who it was hit her like a bus.

"Joel?!" Allie shrieked as she scramble to get on her tired legs. "Joel!"

Falling into the wet sand at Joel's side her heart thundered so loud she could no longer hear the waves. What if he was dead? There was no way she could get Ellie to the Fireflies alone, there was no way she could go on living without Tess and Joel. Banishing the unwelcomed thoughts to a dark corner of her mind Allie shook at Joel's lifeless form, silently willing him to wake up and bring an end to the sickening dread in her gut. "Please wake up." She whispered as her hand brushed the damp hair back from his forehead.

"He's going to be okay." Henry reassured from over Allie's shoulder. It hadn't been that long since he had pulled the three of them from the water so odds were he was right, or at least he really hoped he was. "The old guys tough."

Joel could be as tough as he wanted it meant nothing if he had drowned. She could see what Henry was trying to do - and she appreciated it - yet it did nothing to lessen how terrifed she was feeling. Ever since they had left Boston they had endured nothing but pain and it was really beginning to make Allie question whether they were cursed. Twenty years Tess had kept both of them alive and in the blink of an eye she was gone, it wasn't out of the realms of possibilites that the same could happen to Joel. Nothing - not the infected, or the hunters - were more terrifying than the thought of six years being nothing more than dust in the wind. Nothing was worse than the thought of being alone.

On the left side of Joel, opposite Allie, Ellie's face wore what she assumed was very similiar expression to her own. He was their protector, he kept them safe, and Allie was betting it wasn't a leap to guess that the similiar fears were racing through the young girls mind. 

"He's been through worse." She said quietly, trying to reassure Ellie in the same way Henry had done her. Truth be told it wasn't a lie he had been through way worse and that wasn't including the unknown time that existed before she met him. Their first meeting was something Allie would never forget, and not just because Joel meant so much to her.

She and Tess had been travelling for months trying to find somewhere to settle before the harsh winter settled in when they came across a run down town that had been taken over by hunters - much like Pittsburgh. Only Tess had managed to talk them into the group with her sharp mind and bag of rare goods. There really was nothing her sister couldn't do.

_"No." _

The one word response was the first thing Allie had ever heard Joel say, and she could still see the arch in Tess's brow at his rude reaction. In his defense being partnered up with a woman and what he must have assumed was her daughter wasn't exactly the pick of the crop.

_"Listen, Cowboy, I'm not exactly overjoyed being stuck with you either. So why don't you stop pouting like a little girl and accept it?"   
_

Allie wished she could think of something Tess like to say to get Joel to wake up but everytime she tried it made her body ache from loss, and had tears prickling the backs of her eyes. Doing the only thing she knew how she brushed her thumb over Joel's lined forehead, silently praying that his eyes would shoot open because someone had dared to touch him. By some small miracle they did just that.

Spluttering Joel sucked in large gulps of air as his eyes flickered open. Above him Allie and Ellie both wore the same relieved expressions - the first looking like she was on the verge of tears - how long had he been out for?

"Henry! He's awake." Sam yelled to his older brother.

Quicker than Allie had anticipated Joel got to his feet, and quicker yet his face hardened when Henry jogged over to them. He had left them for dead in the city and if there was one thing Joel wasn't it was forgiving. "Joel, dont!" She shouted when he unholstered his pistol, aiming at Henry. "This isn't helping!"

Allie's small hands grabbing at his arm did nothing to deter the barrel Joel had aimed at Henry. He had known pairing up with the brothers had been a bad choice, there was a reason he didn't stick around with people long, and abandoning he and Allie had done nothing but prove him right.

"It's okay, Allie." Henry spoke from the ground where Joel had shoved him. "He's pissed but he's not gunna do anything."

How Henry had so much confidence when he was on his ass with a gun in his face was beyond Allie. Had it been her she would have been trying to defuse the situation not inflame it by pushing as many of Joel's buttons as possible.

"You sure about that?" Joel growled just as Allie had anticipated, stepping threateningly closer to Henry as he did. "He left us to die out there." 

"No. You had a good chance of making it, and you did. But coming back for you meant putting him at risk. If it was the other way around, would you have come back for us?" Henry argued calmly, not once raising his voice. "I saved you."

"He saved us too." Added Ellie, gesturing between herself and Allie. "We woulda drowned."

All eyes were on Joel waiting for his response, but the hardened glare he was wearing had already begun to crack. Maybe it was because they had two kids with them? Maybe he was just glad to be alive? Whatever the reasoning it had Allie stunned to silence. Joel never backed down from a fight, hell he didn't back down from anything, yet the pistol that had been held so firmly on Henry was tossed to the ground.

"Y'know, for what it's worth, I'm really glad we spotted you."

Not wanting to tempt fate any longer Allie tugged lightly at Joel's forearm. "C'mon, lets look for supplies." Surprising her again he followed her lead with nothing more than a strained breath while Henry explained about some kind of radio tower. Where they were heading was of no interest in her current state of mind, she was still very much reeling from potentially losing Joel. More than anything she wanted to leap in his arms, feel his heart beat and warmth. No way that was happening. "You scared me for a minute." She weakly laughed instead.

"Scared you?" Allie had seen him kill many, many people so the fact that him yelling at Henry had scared her was ridiculous. Had she not been paying attention as they had made their way through the city? "You've seen worse."

Allie's brow furrowed in confusion. "I meant the nearly drowning part." She clarified. "Don't go making a habit of it." Shoving into Joel's shoulder with her own a quiet fell over them as they trailed behind Ellie down the beach. It wasn't awkward, but equally it wasn't exactly comfortable, and Allie had no idea how to navigate it. Did she say how scared she had truly been? Or did she ignore that it had ever happened? Knowing Joel the later was his prefered choice. 

"Joel..." She began but was cut off by a distant call from Henry.

"Guys! I think I've found a way through!"

Joel's way it was. Abandoning any thought of voicing her feelings to him, Allie purposefully walked towards where Henry's yell had sounded from, but she didn't get far before Joel calling her name stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Allie girl, you don't gotta worry about me. I ain't goin' no where."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry on the wait for an update. I've been slowly writing this since I posted the last chapter whenever I can find time. It's short and not much happened but it's more of a filler chapter than anything :) Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> demarcodaze: He is soooo jealous lol
> 
> Potato_Basket: He really does deserve happiness! 
> 
> wintersburn: Thank you for such a lovely comment, I really appreciate it and I'm so happy you're enjoying the story :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summer 2033**

The sun brought a reasonable amount of relief and Allie was sure that if they hadn't just battled their way through the dank sewers she wouldn't have appreciated it nearly as much. The summer heat back in Boston had been stiffling and uncomfortable to the point where she had willed the winter chill to come early. Stuck in a rundown apartment for hours on end had tainted the glowing appeal that summer had once held. What she wouldn't give to be care free in some silent wood with a cool lake to swim in with nothing but the distant chirping of birds for company. For the majority of her life she had been chained to towns or cities where supplies were currancy, and it had her dreaming of wide open spaces where she wasn't likely to have a gun shoved in her face for a can of beans.

"Keep up, Allie girl." Joel called over his shoulder. His voice was coarser than usual, the physical strain of surviving the sewers still evident. They had gotten seperated which hadn't happened for years and judging by the way he had growled a threat at Henry it wasn't a leap to guess that he had been anything but happy about it. Now his eyes followed her like a hawk.

"I'm literally a few feet away." He didn't bother replying to her, choosing to shake his head instead. "You need to loosen up, Old Man."

"You need to do as your told." He said as he slowed his pace to fall in step with her. Putting Allie's life in Henry's hands had been harder than he had ever expected and he had no intention of doing it again. Both the girls were his responsibility - Allie more so - and no matter how much Henry went on about Allie's 'unrivaled shotgun skills' there was no way he was going to lose control like that again.

"You need to stop treating me like a kid." She complained, kicking at a stone with her boot. She had really expected him to cut her some slack after her outstanding perfomance in the sewers, boy had she been wrong. In her time seperated from Joel she had blown he and Tess's shared opinion of her being useless out of the water. She had kept herself and Ellie alive, not Henry, but still she was being treated like a child. In all honesty she was beginning to wonder what impossible feat she would have to perform for Joel to see her as anything but that.

"You need to stop acting like one first."

Allie's eyes rolled and she had to stop herself from stamping her foot in frustration. It was a conversation loop they had gotten stuck in hundreds of times before and there was no way of winning. The game was rigged against her but she couldn't stop herself from biting back each and every time. Who did Joel think he was? He wasn't her dad, he wasn't her boyfriend, so really he had no right to be bossing her around like he had some kind of authority over her.

"You're not my dad." She mumbled out, not having the confidence to throw the word 'dad' around at full volume. Since Henry had admitted that he had initially thought Joel was her dad it felt unnatural saying the word, and by the way his eyebrow quirked he obviously felt the same way.

"If I were, " Joel spoke, deliberately not saying 'dad'. "You'd be much better behaved."

Allie's face flushed hot despite his words being nothing but innocent. Images of him bending her over his knee flashed through her mind and made her cheeks glow brighter. What the hell was wrong with her? If Joel knew the things she thought about he would have happily left her in the sewers. As far as she could see she had two options; one she remained silent and he won their little argument, or two she thought of some Tess like comment to fire back at him.

Mustering all the attitude she could Allie said the only sassy thing she could think of, and kept her gaze casually on the stone she had been kicking since they had started down the street. "You really think you would be up to the challenge, Old Man? What would you do? Spank me?"

For the first time Joel found that she had rendered him speechless. She was constantly making comments to make him uncomfortable but this was the first one that had been so blindingly obvious. If he wasn't mistaken it was coming off as a challenge, like she really wanted him to step up and prove her wrong. Unlike back in Boston where she had shrunk when he had voiced that he had noticed the way she had been looking at him. He needed to regain control of the situation, and fast.

"Keep up. I won't tell you again."

Before Allie could even get so much as a sound out Joel was marching off ahead to catch up with the others and avoid what she had said. His shoulders were rigid, his strides purposeful, and she was certain if anyone tried to prevent him from getting as far away from her as possible he wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet in their head. Really she shouldn't have expected anything less.

"I already was." She mumbled again, regretting the bold move she had made. Things were too touch and go, she should have known better than to try and joke around. What never made any sense to her was how she even managed to make Joel so uncomfortable when she had no sexual experience what so ever. Twenty years in the apocalypse had offered her nothing in the way of opportunities, and even if there had been one Tess would have made damn sure it never went any where. Many sleepless nights had been spent with her staring at whatever ceiling they were sleeping under while she dwelled on dying a virgin. Odds were highly stacked in favour of her never even kissing a guy. Really it was depressing.

Perhaps Henry could become an option? As Allie lagged behind the rest of the group she watched Henry with new found curiousity. He wasn't ugly by any stretch of the imagination, and he was obviously very caring by the way he acted with his brother, so all in all he wouldn't be an awful choice. Would he be interested in her though? She wasn't the prettiest woman, but it wasn't like he was swimming in options either. Really they both didn't have much in the way of choices. No matter how logical it seemed it didn't stop Allie's eyes from drifting over to Joel to run the same scenario through her head. 

It wasn't the first time she had imagined Joel being her first - and truth be told it definitely wouldn't be the last. Her cheeks burned as she watched the muscles of his forearms ripple under tanned skin, she could only dream what it would feel like to be held in them.

"Allie! We're cutting through here!" The source of her obvious blushing yelled out to her as he signaled to an abandoned house. "I thought I told you to keep up?"

If her cheeks hadn't been glowing brighter than the sun she might have shot some cocky comeback his way. Instead like a well trained dog she quickened her pace and slid past him into the house, making sure that not even an inch of her body brushed against his. Fuck she hoped he didn't notice how red her face was. With that in mind, Allie shot through the ransacked house as fast as her legs could take her without having to break into a run.

"What's the rush?" Ellie asked when Allie all but ploughed into her.

"No rush." She offered with a smile, hoping that the obvious lie didn't peak the younger girls interest. The last thing she needed was to explain to Ellie that she had been imagining Joel doing all sorts of things to her with his calloused hands. "Where now?"

There was only one route that she could see but the question offered a quick change in subject so she had thrown it out to whoever wanted to answer her.

"Down here."

Of course it was Joel who answered - he was their unquestioned leader - and like the obedient troupe they were the rest of them followed him down the concrete steps without argument. What none of them had expected in the entirely silent neightbourhood was the bullet that cracked through the air, narrowly missing them all.

"Oh shit. Get down!" Shouted Joel, ducking behind a car as he signalled frantically for them to follow suit.

Former embarrassment forgotten, Allie tucked herself tightly to the metal body of the car right at Joel's side. She had seen first hand the damage a good sniper could do, and she had no plan of getting herself splattered across the street. "What are we gunna do?" She asked in what she hoped had been a strong voice.

"Y'all stay here." Joel began but was quickly interupted by Ellie.

"No!"

Since they had been seperated down in the sewers Ellie had developed quite the attachment to Joel. Even when she wasn't physically close to him her eyes tracked his every move to the point where Allie had noticed. Not that she could blame her. Joel made her feel just as safe, so she could entirely understand why Ellie was reluctant to split from him.

"Before you start - I need you guys to keep him busy. I'm gunna go around and see if I can't get the angle on him."

"What?!" Allie found herself saying before her brain could mentally unpack what he had just said. "And if you can't?" It wasn't something that she wanted to think about, but taking on a sniper head on was sucide and it seemed that was the only plan Joel had.

"Then Henry's incharge."

Before she even had a chance to argue it further, Joel had slipped out from behind the car - a bullet not far behind him - as he put his plan in to motion. "Hey!" She called out when her brain fired up again. "Why the hell is Henry incharge?"

They might have been in the middle of a life death situation but Joel found he couldn't help but smile at the outrageous question Allie asked. Only she would take offense to something so minor when a sniper was literally raining down hell on them. Glancing over to where he had left her an incredulous frown greeted him. "Because, Allie girl, he is the only adult I see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took me so long, I rewrote it three times because each time it just didn't feel right. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought :)
> 
> Minimoomin: I'm so happy you're enjoying my story, also that you think I'm getting Joel right :)
> 
> Potato_Basket: Me too :D it's coming don't you worry :)
> 
> demarcodaze: I feel you! :(
> 
> Robyn001: I am so pleased you're enjoying the story and also my writing style (especially as english isn't your first language :) ) I will be continuing even if there are kind of big waits so I hope you stick around!
> 
> :( <3: Oh I am so happy you like it that much!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summer 2033**

Allie laid on her front, head resting in her hands as she watched the animated conversation unfold between Henry and Joel. So maybe it was only Henry who was animated but Joel was definitely contributing to the conversation which was way more than he usually did. She wasn't about to draw attention to it though so she remained in a content silence. For the first time since Tess's death Allie felt hopeful that better things were coming there way, and just perhaps all their lives could have a little happiness. With Joel finally warming up to the brothers it grew more likely that he would allow them to stick around until they found Tommy - perhaps even after - she didn't want to get her hopes too high though.

Spirits were high, they had eaten a decent sized baked bean meal, that didn't mean that the rest of their journey was going to be simple. If their journey up until then was anything to go off of they had a lot more adversity ahead of them. Oh, how Allie looked forward to it.

"You going to bed?" She asked when Ellie got to her feet beside her.

"Yeah. If I have to hear one more fucking thing about motorcycles I'll fall asleep here." Ellie explained, shaking her head with a grin in Henry's direction. "See you in the morning."

"Good night, El." 

Ellie's exit brought an end to Joel and Henry's conversation making an almost comfortable silence befall the room. For some reason though Allie was hard wired to fill silences, no matter how comfortable, spending so much time alone had made her hate the quiet. "You two are kinda cute when you're getting along."

Instantly Joel shifted. If Allie's goal had been to make him want to leave then she one hundred percent had succeeded. "I'll do first watch." He mumbled as he got to his feet. "Make sure you get some sleep before your shift."

"You sur-" Before Henry could finish Joel had already headed out the door and shut it behind him. "He always like this?"

Now there was a question. For as long as she had known him Joel had always been bad with social situations, but Allie doubted he had always been that way. There had been moments with Tess where he showed glimpses of how he had once been, it quickly disappeared if he thought someone was looking. So would Henry every see that side of him? Not likely.

"His bark is worse than his bite." That was a lie. If anything Joel's bite was way worse than his bark, but what was she supposed to say? Allie wanted Henry and Sam to stick around and if she admitted that Joel was grumpy almost one hundred percent of the time it was extremely likely the brothers would take off.

Henry nodded his understanding as he scooted his rucksack under his head in place of a pillow. "So, how long have you been with the old man?"

"A long ass time." Allie laughed, following suit and creating her own little nest for the night. She doubted she would get much sleep without Joel beside her but she had to at least try, if only to stop Henry thinking she was needy. "It was really Tess that kept him around though."

"She was your sister, right?"

It wasn't the first time she had brought up Tess and it was heart warming to know that Henry had really been listening to what she had to say. With Joel her sister was still a touchy subject so it was nice to have someone to freely talk about her with. "Right. You think Joel's scary, he's got nothing on Tess." 

"That tough, huh?" Henry said with a laugh of his own. "What I can't work out is where Ellie fits in all this. I asked but I'm guessing you can imagine how well that went down."

Ever since the Fireflies had been a massive let down at The Capitol Building she had been pestering Joel about a plausable back story. A man in his forties, travelling across the country with two unrelated girls, neither of whom were related to him, was just begging for questions. Henry was proving just that. In her opinion the most logical story they could all stick to was Ellie being his daughter, and that had been shot down so fast Allie hadn't dared to push it further.

"Ellie's my sister." She offered out, making a mental note to pass the information on to both Ellie and Joel. God knew they needed the story to stick. "Turns out Joel had promised to keep us both safe if... Well if anything happened to Tess."

Like an out of control freight train images of Tess on the floor of The Capitol Building ploughed through Allie's mind, making the breath catch in her throat. She silently prayed that Henry hadn't noticed but the softening of his face made it clear he had.

"Still hurts, huh?" He spoke. "Still does when I think about my parents. It gets easier though. Promise."

Fuck, yes it still hurt. In fact it was excruciating but she had pushed her pain down for her companions. Who wanted to travel with the sobbing girl? No one - especially Joel. "She died saving us." Allie admitted as she kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling above her. "I didn't even get to bury her. She's just rotting in some building like she meant nothing. And she meant everything." 

"How long was it just the three of you?"

"For as long as I can remember." Sure Ellie hadn't actually been there but it wasn't a complete lie. She couldn't even remember her parents, they had died pretty early during the outbreak, it was Tess who had done all the things that they would have. "I wish you could have met her."

A sad smile spread across Henry's face when Allie turned to look at him. "Me too." He said. "We should get some rest, otherwise the Old Man might put a gun in my face again."

Despite the sad conversation Allie found herself laughing at the jab. It was nice having someone who wasn't constantly frowning or barking orders in her direction. "I'm going to go check on him quick. Make sure he hasn't done a runner."

"He would never leave you."

The playful quirk of Henry's eyebrow had Allie giggling again. If Joel knew how he saw their relationship he would die, or he would at least put the pistol back in Henry's face, either way he would be anything but happy.

Stepping out onto the front porch of their temporary home she was certain she was going to find Joel propped up against the wall with his rifle, but he wasn't there. Getting a better look at the dark surroundings she quickly realised she couldn't see him at all, and the silence was starting to become suffocating. Had he been attacked and they didn't hear? That was unlikely considering how quiet the area was. Had he left? Henry might have been sure that he would never leave her but he hadn't known Joel for as long as she had. Him leaving was far more plausable than someone catching him out.

"Joel?" She hissed into the darkness, careful to keep her voice low enough to not draw unwanted attention. "Joel, you there?" Still she was answered only by the ever deafening silence. where the hell was he? Taking the steps two at a time Allie made the reluctant decision to venture further into the dark night and do a sweep of the exterior. Perhaps Joel had had the same thought and she would simply bump into him?

Rounding the first corner she slowed her steps. Without her torch she couldn't see more than a few steps ahead of her, and although she had Ellie's pistol tucked into her jeans it would be little help if she couldn't see what she was shooting at. "Joel?" She said again, more desperately this time. "Where the fuck are you?"

"What are you doin' out here alone?"

Joel's gruff voice seemed to boom through the quiet and it had Allie leaping a good inch, and her right hand flying to cover the scream that had very nearly escaped. "I could ask you the same thing!"

The small amount of humour in the older mans face that her jump had caused was gone in an instant. Allie's attitude was becoming a major problem for him and it was not something he was going to let slide. Just because Tess wasn't around didn't mean that she could throw a tantrum whenever she liked. "You're s'pose to be sleeping."

Instantly Allie threw her arms up in exasperation. Was this really the thanks she got for coming to check he was okay? Of course it was, and she was stupid for thinking it would be any different. "I was making sure you were okay."

"What gave you the idea that I needed you to?" He frowned as he watched her fidget uncomfortably under his cold stare. "You see how easy I just snuck up on you? This is exactly why Te... Why you should have stayed back in the QZ."

The verbal confirmation of just how useless Tess and he saw her had Allie recoiling. She was well aware she wasn't his - or anyone's - choice travel companion but damn it she was doing her best! She had gotten herself and Ellie through the sewers, she had hidden her shoulder injury to not slow them down, she was doing everything she possibly could yet apparently that still wasn't enough. "I am well aware how you wish it had been me who was bitten. I get your disappointment loud and fucking clear."

Was that really what she thought? He had neveronce wished it had been Allie instead of Tess, the only thing Joel wished was that they had never agreed to the stupid drop off in the first place. If he had fought harder then they would all still be back in QZ instead of chasing Fireflies and risking their lives. He couldn't say all that though, he could explain that it was himself he was hating, not her. So instead he rolled his eyes. "Stop being so damn dramatic. Where was all this self pity when you was flirting with Henry all night?"

For a moment Allie stayed silent, too stunned to form coherent words. Her hands clammed up as she was unable to decide which part had embarrassed her more - in the end she settled on the latter. There was a callousness to Joel's stare that let her know he knew how uncomfortable it was making her, and somewhere in his head that would be molded into her admission of guilt. But really what was there to be guilty about? She hadn't flirted with Henry - well maybe she had a little - but that was nothing to do with Joel and it certainly didn't make her a bad person. Who could blame her for liking a little male attention? It wasn't like Joel was her boyfriend, so he had no right to be acting as self righteous as he currently was.

With that in mind, Allie finally found her voice. "What does it matter to you if I was? You were fucking my sister, Joel."

She had him there, and the challenging arch of her left eyebrow only made his annoyace grow. "Do not bring Tess into-"

"Why?" Allie asked tersely. "Because it makes you uncomfortable? Or because you don't want to admit that I'm right? I knew, I fucking knew, there was something between you guys and I never said a thing."

A darkness shifted over Joel's face and something flashed in his eyes. God, he was pissed. She watched as his jaw clenched tighter and tighter with every passing second, until she was sure his teeth were ground to dust. By no means did she enjoy fighting with him - in fact she wished he wanted to get along as much as she did - he had given her no choice but to stand up for herself, and now she was worried she had pushed him too far.

"Go to bed, Alexandra." Joel said with measured calm. If she so much as nudged him he was going to blow, they had all had a good evening and he wanted to avoid ruining it. "Now." He spoke again when she didn't immediately jump to action. Jesus, she was testing him. How was he supposed to deal with her? He wasn't her father - he had no intention of being even remotely close to that - she was twenty-four which was technically a woman, but she wasn't tough like her sister and no matter how much she hated it she needed him. That alone should of had her doing as she was told.

Just as he was about to repeat himself for the last time Allie spoke the single word that had him faultering.

"No."

A low dangerous growl was her only warning. One minute she had been stood defying Joel's order, the next a painful grip was wrapped around her bicep and dragging her back to the porch. Not once in their whole time together had Joel ever physically hurt her, and although he hadn't hit her she was certain that his hold on her was going to leave bruises. She wanted to tug, to fight him, but her brain had shut down and all she could do was allow herself to be yanked up the porch steps.

"I want you to listen," Joel began when they were back on the porch, as he fought to keep his temper in check. "Ain't no one forcing you to stick around. You can leave whenever you want. But, if you choose to stay you will damn well listen and do as you are told. I promised I would keep you alive, that does not mean I will risk shit because you decide to act like a big girl because of some boy."

"This isn't about Henry!"

"Ain't it?" He raged, no longer caring if the others heard the argument. "You've been showing off and flashing those big doe eyes ever since that boy showed up."

Allie's mouth fell open as a fresh wave of embarrassment surged through her body and colored her cheeks a deep shade of crimson. Was that really how she had looked? All she had wanted was to get along with the brothers, not make herself look desperate. She had never been so mortified, and the thought that Henry could hear everything that was being said only made it worse.

"You can do what you like, Allie girl, but that don't mean you have to act like a hormonal teenager."

"I'm not!" She protested. There was only one way she could see the argument being brought to an end that didn't involve her admitting that Joel was right,and she was not prepared to make that admittence. "I wouldn't even know where to begin with that stuff, Joel. I'm a virgin. Fuck, I haven't even been kissed!"

It took a few seconds for Joel to react to the bomb that had been dropped. For what felt like an eternity he stared at Allie, trying to calculate his next move. There was nothing shocking about her being a virgin, what had him shifting his weight from foot to foot awkwardly was that she had said it outloud. What the hell was he supposed to do with that information? It wasn't like he could admit that he would happily be her first. Jesus, he didn't even want to admit it to himself.

"Please say something." Inside her chest Allie's heart hammered so hard she felt the blood pumping in her ears. If Joel didn't say something soon she would happily go dangle her arm infront of a Clicker and be done with it all. In truth she really hadn't thought through what she was going achieve by admitting her lack of sexual experience, all she had known was she had wanted Joel to stop making her sound like a desperate slut.

Joel's eyes met Allie's, his chest heaving as she squirmed under his gaze. "C'mere."

The hot glow of her cheeks only intensified as she took the few steps needed to close the distance between them. She had no idea what he was going to say or do, and it had her stomach swirling. 

Before she could voice any of her fears his eyes had flicked to her lips and she instantly knew what was coming next. In what felt like slow motion Joel's lips met her own in a chaste kiss. His lips were chapped against her own, and his beard was rough but she found she didn't mind it. As first kisses went she couldn't have asked for more. 

"Go get some sleep." Joel said once he had pulled back from Allie's enticing lips. He had no idea what had pushed him to kiss her - it was possibly the stupidest thing he had ever done - if it stopped her chasing Henry then it was more than worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! Sorry on the wait for this update but I didn't want to rush it. I hope it was worth the wait :)
> 
> qrangr: I'm glad I wasn't the only one who liked the spanking comment lol! I hope you liked this update too :) 
> 
> Potato_Basket: They're around the same age, Joel is so stubborn haha
> 
> Pao: I know there isn't anything further with Henry (kissing ect) but I think Joel definitely got jealous haha. There will be more Henry in the next chapter. Hope you liked the update :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summer 2033**

As she had anticipated Allie was unable to sleep without the reasurring presence of Joel's body beside her. While he had kept a vigilant watch so the rest of them could get some sleep she had done nothing but stare at the flaking ceiling above her as she listened to Henry's soft snores. It was rhythmic and soothing, although not enough to send her off to sleep. For a while she had wrestled with the idea of moving next to Henry to see if that would be the nudge her body needed, but the worry of Joel seeing the two of them kept her rooted to the spot she had originally chosen.

What the hell had even happened outside? Protected by the darkness she had allowed herself to run the kiss on a never ending loop in her head, to linger on the chapped warmth of Joel's lips. The kiss had been so brief, so gentle, it was almost as if it hadn't even happened. Was that how he had kissed Tess? Unlikely. Neither Tess or Joel were gentle people, in fact now she thought about it Allie wasn't even sure if the two would have kissed. Both were so against any form of intimacy they would have been a perfect match. Did that make the kiss she had shared with him nothing more than pity?

Somewhere in the darkness to her left the front door sounded open, announcing the end of Joel's shift. With any luck she would be so tired after taking over that her body would just surrender itself whether she was at Joel's side or not.

"Henry." Joel spoke in a hushed voice, the light from his flashlight illuminating Henry's sleeping form. "Time for your shift." He added with a nudge to the shoulder which had Henry stretching himself awake.

"Already?" Said Henry, his voice thick with sleep. "Shit that went too fast."

Grumbling a none intelligable response, Joel handed his rifle to Henry. "Let her sleep. I'll take her watch."

"You got it."

The light left the room along with Henry and once again Allie was surrounded by darkness, only this time it was accompanied by the warm presence of Joel's body. He settled quickly on the ground beside her, using what she assumed was a spare shirt as a pillow. After a few groans of discomfort he stilled entirely, the room returning to its silence.

He must not have been dwelling on their kiss as much as she was, otherwise he would have kept some distance between them. Jesus, her virginity was showing. The kiss had been far from the passionate, teeth clashing ones she had read about in the trashy novels she loved to read, so why couldn't she stop thinking about it? More than anything she wanted to ask Joel why he had done it. All night she had be racking her brain as to why he would take a step she was certain he hadn't even previously thought about. Pity was the obvious answer, although she hoped it was something else.

Rolling on to her side Allie faced Joel's solid form. She couldn't see more than a vague outline in the inky darkness but that didn't stop her eyes from tracing the little she could. In the QZ the eyes of both older and younger women had lingered on him, Tess had told her the reason was because so many had lost their parents it had created a large population of women with 'Daddy Issues'. Was she now one of them? She knew Joel though, had for a long time, so surely her crush was inevitable. What did he think though? He had made it very clear he knew about how she felt, did he think she had Daddy Issues? God, she would die of embarrassment if he did.

"Allie girl, go to sleep." Joel's texan drawl cut through the silence like a knife, making Allie jump beside him. He had slept beside her long enough to now when she was sleeping, and on top of that he had felt her eyes boaring into him.

Letting out a huff she willed her over active brain to shut down. Really she should have known Joel was awake. Perhaps if she asked him her burning question she would be able to doze off? Or would it just make matters worse? Undecided on what course of action was the best one, Allie's mouth open and closed a few times without making a sound.

"Don't." He warned.

How was it that even when he couldn't see her he was still able to read her mind? "I wasn't going to say anything." She lied weakly, already knowing that there was no way Joel was going buy it.

"Sleep. Now."

Again the room was engulfed by silence. Unlike the comfortable one she and Henry had shared this one was entirely uncomfortable. It had her wanting to get to her feet and run from it, instead she reverted to her signature move and filled it. "Do you think I have daddy issues?"

It took several seconds for Joel to react to the question. Of all the things he had been expecting her to say daddy issues was definitely not one of them. He had known the second their lips had touched it had been a bad idea, he just hadn't realised how bad of an idea. What the hell was he even supposed to say to that? For one he was in fact old enough to be her father, which really said more about him than her. "Go to sleep." He finally spoke, wanting the entire thing to disappear like it had never happened.

"You're old enough to be my dad." Allie went on undetered, unknowingly voicing his own thoughts. "My parents had me late though."

"Go to sleep." Joel repeated in a sterner tone. He didn't need to be hearing her inner thoughts, especially when they made him so damn uncomfortable. There was no need for Allie to talk about how taboo the kiss was when he knew already, hell he had known before he had even contemplated doing it. If she didn't stop talking about it he was going to go back outside and send Henry in.

"Why did you do it?"

With a low sigh he rolled the question around in his mind. Why had he done it? He damn well knew why he had, in fact he had been wanting to for some time, that however was something only he needed to know. "If you're not gunna sleep maybe you should take over from Henry."

He could try and get rid of her all he wanted to, she wasn't going anywhere. He had kissed her, not the other way around, and Allie would be damned if she didn't get an honest answer from him. She could handle the answer not being the one she wanted, she just needed to know why. "Is it because I look like Tess?"

"You don't look like her." Grumbled Joel with a roll of his eyes.

"I could to someone who's missing her." She really hoped it wasn't the reason, being the step in for a ghost was even more humiliating than pity.

"I ain't that someone." He said, voice straining to remain levelled. "Now drop it, and go to sleep."

Rolling on to his side he turned his back to Allie, blocking her and her questions from annoying him further. A long sigh sounded over his shoulder and despite his growing annoyance he felt a pang of guilt. It wasn't her fault she was feeling so confused, that was all on him, he just couldn't deal with all her questions. Lord knew the girl loved a question. Under normal circumstances he could have indulged her further, but he had taken a step into uncharted territories and he needed to steer them back on course.

"You're a pretty girl." Joel spoke when Allie let out another sad sigh. "You'll find someone your own age."

It was meant to subdue her, to make her feel better about herself, but all she felt was the sting of rejection. "What if I don't want to?" It was a risky move but they were well beyond the safe zone.

"Allie-" He started with a sigh.

"Why can't you just tell me the truth? For once I wish you'd treat me like an adult."

"Allie-" He tried again to no avail.

"You kissed me, Joel. After everything you said about me being a spoilt little girl, _you _kissed _me._" So beyond exasperated all the uncertainty she had been feeling was gone. She wanted to know. She was going to know. No more would she allow Joel to treat her like a girl, she was a woman and she wanted answers. "Tell me why you did it. Was it pity because I said I was a virgin? Was it because you miss Tess? What was it, Joel?!"

"Would you for once just shut up!" He all but growled as he bolted upright, resigned to the fact she was not going to let him sleep until he well and truly put an end to the conversation.

"No I won't 'shut up'." Allie hissed indignantly. "You're being a fucking coward."

He needed to leave. He needed to get away from her before she pushed him any further. With that in mind Joel got to his feet and stormed from the room into the small torn apart kitchen to regain control of his ever rising temper. Leaning on the counter he took a few deep breaths in a half hearted attempt to cool off. Why couldn't she just leave it? Why did she have to push? That was Allie all over though, he couldn't think of a single time when she had ever let something be. It was for that exact reason that he was anything but surprised when quiet footsteps followed him to the kitchen, stopping just behind him.

"You can't ignore this." Allie's legs seemed to move of their own accord, carefully stepping closer to Joel's back without touching him. He didn't react to her presence and a large chunk of her withered from the rejection. She had wanted him to take her in his arms, to say sorry for being such an ass, to at the very least acknowledge she was there. He didn't. He didn't so much as glance over his shoulder. Without even realising what she was doing she wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, pressing her cheek into the soft plaid that covered his back. Joel went rigid under her touch before his large hand detangled her arms from him, just as she had been afraid he would. Still he refused to face her and they stood in silence for much longer than she was comfortable with.

"What you want cannot happen." He finally spoke.

Allie didn't know what to say so she lied with a laugh. "You don't know what I want."

Turning around Joel held her in an unwavering stare, making her wish he had continued to face the counters instead. "Don't I?"

Her head frantically shook no as her heart pounded in her chest in fear of what he would say next. But he didn't say anything. In one fluid movement he had her trapped between the counter and his broad chest, leaving her unable to breathe let alone form a coherant sentence.

"This is what you want, right?"

Allie's arms hung limply by her sides, her breathing becoming shallow and fast as Joel's hand settled on her curve of her hip. His fingers made their way under her sweatshirt and traced small circles on her hip bone, making a shiver shoot through her body of its own accord.

"What are you-" The question died on her lips as she mustered the courage to look into his eyes. They were closer than she had first realised and it made her suddenly feel extremely inexperienced. Here was a man who very clearly knew what he was doing and she didn't have a clue. She wanted to push him away to stop from embarrassing herself but she found her body wouldn't listen. He had moved alot closer, his chest pressed against her own, and her body had no intention of losing the pleasant tingles it was getting.

Catching Allie's chin with his fingers, Joel tilted her head back further prohibiting her from looking away from him. He had a point to make, a lesson to teach, and it was hard enough to not lose focus. No matter how much she though he was what she wanted he just wasn't.

"This is what you want, right?" He said again, his voice and accent deeper, as he stopped stroking her hip and moved his hand to linger at the fastening of her jeans. "Tell me this is what you want."

The breath caught in Allie's throat when expert fingers popped the button of her jeans open. Everything was moving so fast and her scrambled brain couldn't keep up. Not two seconds ago he had been shooting her down, and now he practically had his hands down the front of her jeans. She needed air. She needed him to stop, yet at the same time she felt like she would die if he did.

"Tell me."

Still unable to fully move her head she cast a glance over his shoulder. What if Henry came in? Or Ellie? How would they explain it? He was so close she could see the scar on his nose, could feel his warm breath on her face, and it completely overwhelmed her. 

There it was. She may not have even realised she had done it but Joel had seen the hesitation. She wasn't ready, he had known that, and now she did too. "I didn't think so."

She made no protests as he withdrew himself from her body, too shocked to do anything but stare at the spot he had been occupying. That was no remotely close to how she had imagined their conversation going and she had no idea what to make of it. All Allie knew was she had never been so aware of just how inexperienced she was, or just how much she did want Joel. He was right though, she didn't want her first time to be in some abandoned house where she was worried someone might walk in at any second.

Following the path Joel had taken, she returned to her make shift bed in a trance, thankful that he ignored her as she dropped to the ground beside him. How the fuck was she going to sleep now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this update, and as usually I'm sorry about the wait on it. I've been sick so it's been a struggle to write. 
> 
> Callme_leaf: I'm so glad you're enjoying the story & I hope you like this chapter :)
> 
> demarcodaze: Thank you so much, I hope this one was too :)
> 
> Minimoomin: I'm so glad you do! Hope I didn't disappoint :)
> 
> Potato_Basket: I hope I made your jaw drop again haha! 
> 
> qrangr: He did grow a pair lol! 
> 
> Guest: Maybe they did see? It would sure make things awkward after this chapter haha! 
> 
> SiennaX3: Thank you :) I hope this didn't disappoint and you enjoyed :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summer 2033**

Living outside of the QZ made it possible to believe that the world hadn't ended. There were pockets of quiet, and morning sunshine that served as reminders of what had once been. It was those moments that made Allie prefer the freedom of being outside of the huge concrete walls. Sat on the porch watching the sunrise with nothing but the distant call of birds for company made it easy to forget that the Infected even existed. In this world she was just a normal woman enjoying her first drink of the day as the sun rose in the distance.

"Morning."

That was until someone shattered it. Smiling over her shoulder, she patted the spot beside her for Henry to take. "Morning."

"Looks like you didn't get much sleep." He said as he dropped beside her, stretching his legs out infront of him.

"I'm not used to sleeping outside a QZ." She lied with ease. Obviously the dark circles that framed her eyes were darker from the restless night she had endured, or he had heard the argument she and Joel had gotten in to. Fuck she hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Sure."

She might not have known Henry that well but it was blindingly clear he didn't buy her lie, at least he wasn't pushing for the truth. As the hours had dripped by she had grown more and more mortified by what had happened. Not only had she felt the sting of rejection but she had been made to look like a foolish little girl, which was so much worse. Joel hadn't needed to make his point as he had, that he had done for his own enjoyment, she was sure of it.

"It might be none of my business, but he's never going to be what you want." Henry spoke as he twiddled a leaf between his fingers.

Just when she thought she couldn't feel any worse something came along to prove her wrong. An uncomfortable tightness constricted her chest, and a film of sweat coated her hands, as she attempted to think of something to say. What the hell could she say? Henry didn't know her and she didn't know him, and the conversation was intimate, but they all had to travel together and not addressing it had the potential to create an atmosphere.

"You heard, huh?"

"That's the problem with the apocalypse, it can be crazy quiet." He threw a small smile at her, which grew when she returned it. "If it helps he definitely cares about you. He's stubborn as a mule though."

At that Allie couldn't help but laugh. Stubborn was an understatement, there wasn't a word in existence that could describe just how difficult Joel was. "You must think I'm an idiot."

Henry shrugged, flicking the leaf he had been holding through the air and out of sight. "Wanting someone doesn't make you an idiot. No one wants to die alone."

"Joel does." She countered.

"No he doesn't."

There was a strength to his voice that took Allie back for a moment. How was it that he could be so certain he had Joel figured out when he had known him for such little time?

"If he did he would have shaken you and Ellie a long time ago. I know you think it's because of Tess but I'm tellin' you it's more than that." He paused for a moment to watch her face and gauge how she was taking it all. "If anything had happened to you in those sewers there isn't a doubt in my mind the old man would have killed me."

As much as she appreciated the efforts Henry was going to to make her feel less of an idiot Allie just wanted to forget the entire thing. Everything would be easier if they all stuck to the same script that nothing had happened between she and Joel. "Good job I know my way around a gun then." She teased as she got to her feet and held a hand out for Henry. "Hungry? I'm starving."

His calloused palm slapped down onto her own with the ease of a close friend, and no hesitation. In the touch deprived world she lived in his acceptance of her hand was strange, but it was a change she so desperately needed. Heaving Henry to his feet, she led them back into the house to where Joel was setting up the camping stove ontop of a few cinder blocks.

"Mornin'." He said as he glanced over at the pair.

"Please tell me you're not cooking breakfast." Allie teased in a hushed voice. Not far from the stove Ellie slept soundly and she didn't want to wake her any earlier than needed. Stops like the one they were currently having were few and far between, there was no telling when the next time they would be able to rest so well would be. 

"What is wrong with my cooking?"

A small giggle escaped when Joel threw an incredulous look her way. It wasn't that he was a terrible cook, it was that he saw food as nothing but fuel so the flavour didn't matter. A person could only eat heated canned beans for so long. "Nothing... It's just Henry's better."

"You heard the lady." Henry spoke with a grin on his face wider than Allie's. "Let the professional take it from here, Old Man."

Holding his hands up in defeat, Joel relinquished his job as camp cook without argument. There were plenty of other things that needed doing before they could pack up and head out; one of the most pressing being weapon and ammo inventory. Getting to the point they were currently at had taken far more ammo than he would have liked, meaning their arsenal was running scarily low. Mistakes were not an option.

As he moved to grab all of his own weapons, along with Allie's and Ellie's, his eyes lingered on them. Allie had sat herself closely beside Ellie with such softness she hadn't woken, and was running her fingers through the hair that had fallen from her pony tail. They looked nothing alike but they sure as hell looked like sisters; just as Tess and Allie had done.

"I'm gunna go over inventory one last time." He said to no one inparticular. Tess was not a welcome thought and he needed to dislodge her as quickly as possible. "I'll be on the porch." That was directed at Allie, and the way she perked up and shot a smile in his direction made it clear she knew.

"Want any help?"

"No, I've got it." There wasn't anywhere near enough ammo to require help, had there been he still would have turned down her help. Tess was too close to the surface and having Allie around would only make it harder to push it back down. He needed to be alone.

Without another word Joel went out the front door, leaving Allie alone with Henry once again - or at least particially alone as Ellie was asleep. A content silence engulfed the room as she watched him open several differently labelled cans, and chop a few vegetables. It was almost homely, if she ignored the run down house and weapons. Would a home be such a bad thing? For so long she had lived her life in the fast lane, always on the go, but that had been the life Tess wanted and she wasn't there any more. For the first time in her life she had the ability to choose the path her life went down, and a home sure did sound good.

Tommy had always been so charasmatic and warm - unlike his brother - so it would be no surprise if he had started a small settlement of his own. Secretly she hoped for just that. Ellie was only fourteen, she had her whole life ahead of her, and living in the shadows as she had was no fun. If she was being totally honest what Allie wanted more than anything in the world was for them to give up entirely on their whole quest for the Fireflies before any one else died. Even if they didn't stick with Henry and Sam there was noreason why they couldn't stay with Tommy, actually put roots down and try to be happy. For whatever reason both Joel and her sister had an aversion to happiness, but what the hell was wrong with wanting to be happy really? All of them deserved it, none of them were bad people - sure they had done shitty things but they weren't inherantly bad.

"What you thinking about?" Henry asked without looking up from the pan. "I can hear your brain working overtime from all the way over here."

"Just what's going to happen when we find Tommy." She found herself answering honestly, much to her own surprise. Certain aspects of their journey could never be revealed, but skirting around Ellie's immunity gave an outline of their plan. "I don't know if we'll be staying."

"So where will you go?"

Even Joel couldn't answer that question. They had no idea where they were actually supposed to be taking Ellie, so in reality they had the possiblity of ending up anywhere, and that was if they made it there alive.

"Where ever the wind takes us." Allie joked, earning a hushed laugh from Henry. "Tess wasn't exactly the settling down kind."

"What about you?"

Without either Henry or Allie realising, Joel had returned to the house - the small amount of ammo all accounted for - and was lingering at the front door curious as to what her answer was going to be.

"Joel wouldn't want-"

"I didn't ask what Joel wanted. I asked what you wanted."

Allie's brow knitted as she rolled the question around, and it had Joel twitching. He already knew she wasn't in support of finding the Fireflies, and he knew she wanted a different kind of lifestyle, but she needed to tread carefully with what she told Henry.

"I'm just tired." She finally sighed. "I'm not cut out for dog eat dog, and I don't really want Ellie to become cut out for it. She's a kid, she shouldn't have to be fighting to survive when there's a safer alternative."

"So don't let the wind take you. Just stay." He replied simply.

"And Joel?" She countered, not missing a beat.

At that Henry stopped stirring the pan and looked up at Allie with a serious expression. "You go your seperate ways. It'd be hard at first, but maybe it'd be for the best in the end."

No longer able to simply stand back and listen to the conversation Joel closed the front door with a bang, making his presence known. Immediately two pairs of eyes shot over to the sudden noise, but he refused to make contact with either. For one he was almost certain he wouldn't be able to hide the fact he had heard their conversation, and secondly he wanted them to know he had heard. He wanted to tell Henry in no uncertain terms just how little he knew about all of them. Biting his tongue was the sensible choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its taken so long for me to update but life got in the way. This chapter was suposed to be longer but I decided to split it so that I had something to upload :)
> 
> I aim to upload another chapter by the end of the week, so stay tuned :)
> 
> demarcodaze: I hope you're enjoying the rollercoaster still :D
> 
> qrangr: I'm so happy you're loving it so much, I know this chapter didn't take the story forward much but I hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Potato_Basket: I'm sorry lol! But I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope this one was okay :)
> 
> Shoshie: I'm glad you feel that way. I feel like rushing into romance is not Joel at all.
> 
> Robyn001: I'm so happy you loved the last update, and I hope even though this one isnt as dramatic it was still enjoyable :)
> 
> freyneedsagame: This will 100% be continuing! It sometimes takes me a while to update but it is very much alive :)
> 
> Siennax3: I'm glad you think what I wrote was how you imagine Joel to be, I really want to get his character right as it's such a good one. I hope this split chapter was good for you :)
> 
> coolz kids: Agreed lol!


	14. Chapter 14

**Fall 2033**

Jackson County was greener than Allie had ever imagined it to be. So used to built up grey rubble the lush green pines felt almost unnatural in comparison. It was quiet, so quiet in fact that she could hear Ellie chatting away further up the muddy road.

"Jackson County. Means we're close to Jackson City, right?"

Joel was their sole navigator, without the sign she would have had no idea they had even reached Jackson County. Everything had started to look the same, every place they passed through merging into one tangled mass until it had created a time loop. How long had they even been travelling now? It was as if time no longer existed, only events that had created time stamps; meeting Ellie, leaving the QZ, Tess's death, meeting Henry and Sam.

"Allie girl, you with us?" Joel called back having reached as far as the road would allow them to go. "We're going to follow the river."

"Sure thing." Following the same path Allie hopped down from the small ledge, her foot landing on one of the many fallen twigs. What should have been the simple snap of wood was instead the loud bang of a gun firing, followed by the feel of a wet splatter on her face. Scrambling backwards into the muddy shelf she frantically checked her face for the blood she was certain was there, but her hands came back clean and dry.

A thin film of sweat had steadily coated her skin despite the chilly temperature that fall had brought. Bringing her trembling hand back to her face she brushed the stray hairs from her face as they began to cling to the damp skin of her forehead. She needed to pull herself together. Death was an all too common event, and one she had witnessed many times before, so she needed to get a damn grip. He had been so close though, and his brother had been a child.

He had had no choice but to kill his brother - in reality he was no longer Sam at all - it would have been hard to carry on but they would have helped him. She had touched him. She had her hand on his fucking shoulder ready to give him the embrace he so desperately needed. Initially she didn't register what had happened, the bang of the gun and the warm spray of liquid on her face the only things that broke through. As his body had dropped to the floor with a thud the realisation hit like a sledgehammer.

"Allie? Allie girl, you okay?"

She barely heard Joel's voice as the sound of the gun went off again on a continual loop in her head. "I'm fine." She managed to say, pushing herself off of the ledge to head down the track where Ellie was waiting with a concerned look on her face. "I'm fine." She said again to reassure Ellie before slipping past her to take the lead.

"She is not fine." Ellie said in a hushed voice once Joel had caught her up. "Maybe you should say something?"

Joel scoffed at the suggestion, his head shaking. Did she really think he needed advice from some fourteen year old? More to the point did she honestly believe that he would listen? Sure she was right that Allie was definitely not fine - that wasn't exactly a hard conclusion to draw - there was nothing to be said though. Henry had done what had needed to be done, and then he had killed himself. It was over. Done. Dwelling on it would only make it harder, so talking it over seemed like a pointless task. "Let's keep going."

She might not have been able to hear what was being said but Allie knew it was about her. How could it not be? Her little freak out hadn't been the first one since they had buried the brothers, and judging by the way Ellie had been watching her it was obvious she was worried. Not that she could blame her. Unlike Joel she wasn't able to just forget people had existed, and Henry very much still existed in her mind but all the goodness had been replaced by that one moment. It was the first time she had witnessed someone kill themselves, and it had shook her to her very core.

Suicide was a topic that had come up between she and Tess on multiple occassions, they had never gotten close to actually doing it though. Harsh times had hit, and hit, and hit, but they had never been that far down. Even when she had seen her lifeless body on the Capitol Building's floor it hadn't entered her mind. Just before he had raised the gun she had caught a glimpse of Henry's eyes and there was an empty hopelessness to them that she had never seen before, and she hoped she never saw again.

_"His blood was all over her. That's got to make it hard." _

Ellie was truly awful at whispering and it had a small smile almost reaching Allie's face. Her concern was touching and was something she could focus on instead of the loss that had haunted their journey so far.

"I'm fine, I promise." She smiled as she drew to a stop to allow the other two to catch her up. She was the older sister now and just as Tess had done for her she needed to put on a brave face for Ellie's sake. With that in mind she wrapped her left arm around the younger girls shoulder, walking with her further down the rivers side.

"Whoa! What is that?"

The large building looked like an abandoned factory to Allie, with the addition of a waterfall. It seemed so out of place in the lush woodland, maybe it had been used to keep machinary in? As they made their way up a set of stairs the buildings true size was revealed to them, and it had her worrying. There was no obvious route for them to take to get to the building and with its vast size it would make a great hideout. Sure they had run into hunters and all sorts before but their supplies were low, and realistically how much longer could they remain lucky?

"That right there is a hydroelectric power plant." Joel answered.

"A hydro who?"

"It uh... uses the river's movement and turns it into electricity."

Exchanging a confused look with Ellie, Allie let her ask the obvious question.

"How's it do that?"

"Look, I know what it is, I don't know how it does it." He sighed as he took a hold of wheel and turned it to create half of a walk way they needed. "Think you can swim that, Allie girl?"

Looking over the waters edge the current looked pretty strong, but it seemed doable. Ellie's inability to swim was really an issue that needed to be addressed and if they ever had a moments down time she would teach her herself. "How do I get out?"

Following Allie's line of sight Joel took in the opposite side and let out another sigh. There was no way for either he or her to climb out of the water, and the second wheel was that side. "We need to find something for you to stand on."

Making a quick sweep of their immediate area she couldn't find anything they could use - or nothing that would float at least. "I think we need to find another-"

A loud splash stopped her short and had her running to the waters edge. Manically her eyes scanned the fast moving water; Ellie was next to her so at least she wasn't drowning but had Joel even meant to dive into the water? "Did you see what happened?" She asked Ellie, trying to hide the concern from her voice. They were so close to finding Tommy, the last thing they needed was to lose Joel at the last hurdle.

Before Ellie could answer the sound of water breaking snatched Allie's attention and the breath she had been holding instantly released.

"Alright Ellie, I need you to-"

"I know, step on the fucking pallet." She interupted, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Hold on," Allie cut in, stopping Ellie from stepping onto the pallet with an outstretched arm. "She can't swim, why don't I do it?" The look on Joel's face made it clear her suggestion was very much unwelcome. His plan made no sense though so of course she was going to say something.

"I'm not pushing you. You want to get wet, be my guest."

He was calling her bluff, expecting her to back down at the thought of jumping into the frigid waters, if anything it only made her want to stick to her guns even more. Without a second thought Allie stepped off the edge, her body stinging from the icy water. As she broke the surface a smug grin tugged at her lips when she looked over at Joel. "Shall we?"

The current was stronger than she had expected making swimming to the other side much more strenous on her already tired body. All of their bodies had been battered and abused to the point where exhaustion was constant. Never did Allie imagine she would miss the QZ but the idea of being left behind in an apartment for the day now seemed like a dream - not to say their QZ life had been easy.

"Up you go." Said Joel, holding the pallet steady as Allie pulled herself up on it before making quick work of climbing the metal walkway. As much as he hated to admit it sending her across instead of Ellie had been the better option; apart from actually being able to swim the small amount of height she had on her made it much easier for her to scale things. All in all she had proved herself to be a capable young woman, she was more than able to fend for herself in most situations, he just couldn't bring himself to put her at risk.

"Be careful, El!" Allie shouted when she had created the second half of their make shift walk way. "Want me to meet you half way?" It might have been slightly over kill but the girl couldn't swim so they couldn't take the chance of her slipping in.

"I'm right behind her, stop your worrying."

"Is that supposed to comfort me." She teased, hands coming to rest on her hips as she waited for the pair to cross the dam.

A smile quirked the corners of Joel's mouth - it was good to see the usual Allie even if she was irritating. "Now, if it had been you." He said as his stepped onto the safety of the walkway. "I would have pushed you."

Giving a shove to his shoulder, she gave a grin of her own. "No you wouldn't have." She said simply, already expecting the scoff that Joel gave. "We both know I would have pushed you first."

For the first time since losing Henry and Sam he felt like Allie was getting back to her normal self. She had cracked jokes and ushed his buttons, but when he had looked into her eyes the spark that was usually there was gone. She had been nothing short of hollow. It was for that reason alone that had him reciprocating her currenting teasing. Without warning he shoved her back, making her stumble more than he had anticpated she would. Grabbing ahold of her arm he stopped her from falling into the muddy path they were following. "Still think you'd push me first?"

"If you two are done flirting, I'm starving!" Ellie moaned from behind them.

Instantly all the mischief vanished from Joel's face and was replaced with its usual harden expression. Since their kiss he had been avoiding anything remotely playful with her, and Ellie's harmless comment had likely set them all the way back to the starting point. He had made it undeniably clear that he had no intention of pursuing anything with her and as humilated as she had felt she accepted that. Really it had never been more than a fantasy. She just wished he'd lighten up about it all, they were both adults after all.

"Uh... should we head in?"

Whoever had been or was behind the huge concrete walls definitely didn't want anyone getting in. If they couldn't get in then Allie wasn't sure what their next move would be. 

"Ah, ain't no way around. Gonna have to cut through the plant." Answered Joel, unknowingly voicing her thoughts and confirming her worries when the gate wouldn't budge as he pulled on it. 

"What now?" She asked in defeat, but before he could answer the unmistakable click of a gun sounded above them. Looking up there were at least three people staring down at them, all with guns trained on them. It might have been a close range weapon but there was no way she was going down without a fight, so without missing abeat Allie pointed her shotgun at the woman to the right of the gate.

"Don't even think about reaching for your weapon. Tell the girls to drop theirs. Now." The woman ordered.

"Allie, Ellie, do as the lady says." Joel replied calmly as he slowly backed up, and situated himself infront of the them.

Nodding her head at Ellie, Allie lowered her shot gun to her side as she raised her pistol in defeat. There was no telling how many more were inside, and she had no idea what Joel's game plan was but she trusted his judgement.

"Please tell me you're lost." The woman spoke again, gun still on point.

"We didn't know the place was occupied." Explained Joel. "We're just tryin' to make our way through."

"Through to where?"

The woman didn't trust them. Allie might not have been as skilled at reading people as her sister, but the woman didn't trust them even a little. The entire exchange was likely to end up with bullets being emptied into them if they didn't just leave, and Joel would have known that, which was why she couldn't understand why they were still stood there.

"They're alright." A male voice said, taking Allie completely by surprise. One hundred percent she had been expecting a shoot out.

"What, you know these people?"

"I know him." The male voice said again.

"Joel," Allie whispered, her hand tightening around her gun. "I don't like this." Any further thoughts of doubt immediately died when the gate openedand revealed who the voice belonged to. Years had passed but she still recognised him.

"He's my goddamn brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter, my phone lines were down so I had no internet to get it uploaded. I hope you all enjoy the chapter and another one will be coming shortly :) 
> 
> callmeShrek: I don't know why it did that, but I've double checked this one to make sure the update date is correct :)
> 
> Kazama_sousuke: Thank you so much for both of your comments (this chapter and the previous) I am so touched you love my writing at the story so much, I can't thank you enough. I hope you liked this update :)


End file.
